Saturday, June 29

Cynthia and Friends

OK. Who did it? This is a joke, right? This isn't really a Democratic Party web site, right? If it is, someone hacked into it and put this up right? Pinch me. I must be dreaming. If this is true can't you just see Republican political operatives salivating? Talk about throwing red meat at a pack of dogs. Clinton had Newt, and the Pubbies are gonna have Cynthia. Oh man this is gonna be fun to watch. And while we're waiting, I guess I can have a little fun too.

Now since the Dems are accusing the media of smearing poor lil Cynthia, let's look at some of what she's saying. An yes, I am being selective. I'm just picking the looniest stuff, 'cause it's my blog and I can do what I want. First some words from Cynthia:

"Now is the time for our elected officials to be held accountable. Now is the time for the media to be held accountable. Why aren't the hard questions being asked?

Ask away. We're waiting for you to ask them. We want questions, not speculation.

We know there were numerous warnings of the events to come on September 11. Vladimir Putin, President of Russia, delivered one such warning.

OK. I'm gonna ask the same question I ask everytime Cynthia or any of the others who think the Bush administration didn't try to prevent 9/11. Now, Cynthia, listen real closely. I'm gonna say this real slowly. What.... was.... the.... Bush.... administration... supposed... to... do.... to... prevent... the... hijackings? The... only... successful.... means..... to..... prevent..... the.... hijackings..... would..... have..... involved..... ethnic..... profiling..... of.... Middle.... Eastern..... men. Or, 'Excuse me sir. Yes, you, the swarthy one, are you planning on hijacking a plane today?'

Those engaged in unusual stock trades immediately before September 11 knew enough to make millions of dollars from United and American airlines, certain insurance and brokerage firms' stocks.

Do you think that might have been Osama bin Laden and some of Cynthia's other Arab friends? I'm not implying anything here. I'm just, ya know, asking questions. What did Osama bin Laden know and when did he know it? Oh, he did? That's different. Never mind.

What did this Administration know, and when did it know it about the events of September 11? Who else knew and why did they not warn the innocent people of New York who were needlessly murdered?"

I bet it was all them Jews who wuz told not to go to work that day and didn't show up. Yep. They wuz the ones behind it. And now skipping to the defense of Miz Cynthia and the smear campaign.

As the text of Rep. McKinney's remarks shows, she did NOT imply September 11 was an "Administration Plot." She did not say it, she did not suggest it, and she did not even obliquely hint at it.

Most of us are not saying that she thought it was an "Administration Plot". What most of us, who think Cynthia is a loonie, are saying is that she implied that the administration knew and did nothing. And, as I've pointed out many times, even if they tried to do something to prevent it, Cynthia would be screaming at the top of her lungs about 'ethnic profiling'. And I'm now pounding my keyboard so hard I'm about to break it because even now, knowing that the most likely people to hijack another airplane would be someone of Middle Eastern descent, we still cannot single them out for extra security because we might offend them. Arrggghhh! I meant this to be fun, but now I'm really getting pissed off.

She is demanding an investigation into her charge that Bush may have done nothing because his rich friends stood to profit from the military build-up, The Washington Post reported McKinney did NOT charge "that Bush may have done nothing because his rich friends stood to profit from the military build-up." And since she did NOT make that charge, she is NOT "demanding an investigation into" that charge.

I'll agree that she did not make that charge, but she sure as hell made that implication and anyone with the brains of a third grade pissant realizes that. Or, at least, anyone with the brains to not vote for Cynthia McKinney. And stay tuned, because at the end of this post we get to read letters from two of her supporters.

The Washington Post,

a noted right wing newspaper

New York Post, AP, and NY Times

New York Times...another noted right wing newspaper

have variously suggested that Rep. McKinney is a conspiracy theorist,

Cause she is

crazy,

ditto

pro-Iraqi,

ditto

or an irresponsible publicity-seeker.

Dammit! Ain't there a ditto key on this keyboard?

In fact, Rep. McKinney is a leading champion of human rights for blacks and all people of color,

Unless that color happens to be white.

both at home and abroad. She is best known for working with conservative Republican Chris Smith (R-NJ) to enact a "code of conduct" for selling arms to dictatorial regimes.

If they're African dictators, they're fine with Cynthia.

She is serving her fifth term in Congress, representing a district that was only 33% black in 1996.

And 66% loonie. Right smack dab in the middle of her district is Emory University. It is the Emorroids who give her the votes every election. It certainly isn't us bigoted white folks up in Dunwoody.

The media's attempt to portray Cynthia McKinney as crazy

Actually the media is attempting no such thing. Here Cynthia here's some rope. Knock yourself out.

is a repeat of the media's character assassination campaigns against Anita Hill

Not Saint Anita? 'Yeah if you drag a twenty dollar bill through a trailor park...' What? That wasn't Anita Hill? Sorry, must have been thinking of someone else. I can't seem to remember any character assassination except by David Brock and he's seen the light and repented.

and Lani Guinier.

Isn't this amazing? Obviously doing an analysis of someone's public writings and reporting what these writings reveal about her thoughts on racial quotas is character assassination. So, by that logic, was what the left did to Judge Bork character assassination? Oh no, that was different. You don't understand. OK. 'Splain it to me.

In all three cases, outspoken black women have been attacked for daring to express ideas that challenge the white male establishment.

Honey, where's my sheet? I gotta go do sumpin' about them uppity black women. What do you mean it's at the cleaners? Dammit, you know we meet every Wednesday.

History has shown that both Anita Hill and Lani Guinier were telling the truth.

OK. Pubic hairs on coke cans. Long Dong Silver. Bad. Groping women. Boinking interns. Good. It's all about sex. And no one was said Lani Guinier was lying about anything. She was judged by her beliefs. We believed her. We didn't like her beliefs. And it was our first Black President who dumped her. Your boy. Maybe you oughta take it up with him.

History will also show that Cynthia McKinney is telling the truth.

That remains to be seen. History will, however, show that she is a loonie.

We believed Anita Hill and Lani Guinier - and we believe Cynthia McKinney too.

And we also believe in the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus, and the check's in the mail, and that howler from Dan Rather, 'I believe Bill Clinton is an honorable man'.

And they want all the believers to write letters to the media and send them to public@democrats.com. and they'll publish them to their website. C'mon all you public spirited bloggers let's get to work!

And now without further ado, let's read a couple of letters from Cynthia's supporters. They can be found here. You'll have to scroll down a few.

Stephen Whitaker of Decatur Georgia (Emory U is in Decatur) writes

I cannot adequately express the dismay I feel at your decision to perpetuate bigotry through your informal study of election contribution records for names that "appear to be Arab-American or Muslim" in reference to Rep. Cynthia McKinney's (D-Ga.) re-election campaign ("Arab-American dollars shore up McKinney," News, June 22)

Steve, we have this funny policy in this country called reporting. See, since most of these contributors are from outside Cynthia's district, we might wonder why it is they are contributing large sums of money to her campaign. Let me make an analogy that you might understand. Let's just say that there are a bunch of defense contractors that started making money after 9/11 and that they contibuted a bunch of money to the Bush administration and that administration....See, you believe that right? No fair! No fair! Make him stop! He's using logic on me.

While I do not necessarily support McKinney's positions on many issues,

So part of your brain is working?

I do abhor the sort of blatant racism that you have chosen to demonstrate.

Here's a neat question. Cynthia's opponent in the primary is gonna attract a lot of donations from Jewish groups. Will you be just as upset about racism if, and when, the AJC reports that?

As a former journalist, I am aware of how (and why) stories are assigned, selected and placed.

Steve, I was kinda surprised about the placement also. I made that comment in a blog from last week. I guess the AJC is tired of having the rest of the country laugh at Atlanta.

As a student of history,

Then I guess you've heard about the 'free press'. It wuz in all the papers.

I am also aware of the damage this sort of decision visits on marginalized communities

And with Cynthia as our congresscritter, Dunwoody is a marginalized community. I mean she didn't even send us the big 'ol expensive book of her accomplishments that she sent to South DeKalb and you folks in Decatur. Talk about being marginalized.

and ultimately negatively affects us all. Perhaps you would do well to revisit history --- particularly that of your own newspaper --- and attempt to learn from it.

Yeah, the AJC has endorsed her a few times. They're trying to rectify that mistake.

And now let's hear from Ed Hunt.

Regarding Cynthia McKinney receiving financial support from the Arab-American community --- please!

Thank you...and you're welcome.

You would have me believe that McKinney's political boat has been bought by Arab-American dollars?

No Ed. You can believe what you want. Most intelligent people would believe that. We report. You decide.

Why not take the picture showing McKinney in front of the backdrop of the letters "World Vision," and put it on the front page with the headline "McKinney risks seat with support for Arab-Americans," which was really what the article was about.

Ya know, they were thinking of doing that, but decided to be a little more subtle than that. It didn't matter. It still worked. It pissed you off.

You guys amaze me. Do you think everybody is stupid?

Nope. Just the people who vote for Cynthia.

Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Awright Who Wants It

No fair. It's late and I'm getting ready to go to bed and I stopped by DailyPundit and came across this gem. Here comes the pitch. It's slow and coming across the plate. Someone's gotta hit this one out of the park! I wish I weren't so tired. Geez. This would be easier than Molly Ivins. Maybe I'll do sumpin' Sunday.

Friday, June 28

I Did It! I'm a Failure!

Huh? Waddya mean I'm a failure? After yesterday? Yep. And I'll get to why in a minute. First off let me say that yesterday was the best day of my short life in the blogosphere. I would like to thank Fred at Rantburg and Mr. Quick at DailyPundit (and go there to read a letter from someone who calls himself a 'liberal moron' and then sets out to prove it...didn't Mark Twain say sumpin' along the lines of it's better to be thought stupid rather than opening your mouth to prove it?...Paraphrasing of course. Oh man, hate mail like that is like manna from heaven. I'm looking forward to stuff like that.). So, I'm writing last night's blog and the phone rings and it's my sister in California and she says, 'InstaPundit just linked to you!' Thank you Glenn Reynolds! Got more hits last night than in my two previous months in the blogosphere put together. And thanks to all those who took the time to send me e-mails. One person was nice enough to give me the name of the P. J. O'Rourke book, Holidays in Hell (it will be in my next Amazon order), that describes the Middle East as God's Monkey House. Another, was nice enough to send me the link to the Atlantic Monthly article that Molly quoted. Dammit, I lost the link, but if you go over to Isntapundit.com (not instapundit) I think he links to it in one of his blogs. I would have put that in as a link, but, I always check my links and I got sumpin' wrong on my PC and when I try to go to his site Netscape blows up and Internet Explorer pisses off Windoz (it must be a family feud...how can it blow up?..it's part of the Windoz code!) and won't work either. This is only on my PC. At work I was able to access his site. Give him a visit. In the future, a rant about Microsoft. Back to Molly She only quoted the parts that agreed with her argument. Actually, the article was pretty much pro war with Iraq. Molly, like most leftists, never seems to let facts get in her way. I answered every letter, but, if you didn't get a reply it has to be sumpin' wrong with the pops server. I sent two notes to my work id and they never arrived. Yeah. Yeah. A likely story.

I am a technocrat. I'm also a techno prima donna. If you don't know what that makes me, go get Scott Adams' book, the Joy of Work. I gave that to my friend, Cindy, one year for her birthday and she called me up the next day and asked when I had met Scott Adams, 'cause I was in his book. Think of Dilbert on crack. I've mellowed out some. I haven't screamed at anyone in almost a year. And in my last two meetings with my manager for my evaluation and for my TIETDNY (Things I Expect To Do Next Year) planning session I just sat there with a shit-eating grin on my face like an Organian telling Captain Kirk that there was nothing to worry about. No one's been killed. See, I turned 55 last year and they can't fire me. They can only make me retire. heh heh heh

As anyone who has poked back through my archives knows, here at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name), when times get bad we usually have a FQP (Quality Program...and they always say at the start 'This is not Another FQP'. Which of course tells everyone the the Last FQP was Another FQP). Another variation is a competency program. My sister, who is also a technocrat tells me they do similar things at TCSDNN (The Company She Dares Not Name). This is where CTF (Crawl To Failure) comes in. CTF is a competency program that all of us who work for (here comes a mouthful) MBUOMPOOTCIDNN (My Business Unit Of My Particular Organization Of TCIDNN) have to take. It will solve all of our problems. It is a computer based learning course that will make us all better workers for MBUOMPOOTCIDNN. In previous blogs I discussed how part of the course consisted of neat multimedia displays with twirling geometric shapes and other things of wonder and delight. I didn't learn much, but I had to hand it to the designer, he/she did an excellent job. I also had to download databases and get passwords and authorizations. I also got to see the Vision and Mission Statement of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN. These were literally works of buzzword art. Nay, they had to be written by the Michaelangelo of buzzwords.

Wednesday, I started on the very last unit of CTF. It was another course that I had to sign up for. So I went to sign up.

  • Enter userid and password.
  • OK. uuuuuu pppppp
  • Authorization failed. Retry?
  • uuuuuu pppppp
  • Authorization failed. Retry

Well, this ain't working. Oh look, there's a place to reset your password.

  • To change password, click here.
  • Click
  • Thank you. You will receive instructions via e-mail to continue this process.

So it's off to e-mail. Look, here's a note.

  • Click on this link for further instructions.
  • Click. Wait for browser to take me to next site.
  • Click here and your new password will be sent to you via e-mail.
  • Click

And back to e-mail and there's my new password. As Dave Barry would say. 'I am not making any of this up.'

Off to the website to enroll in the course. It's another multimedia course, but not as much work went into this one. None of the figures in the displays move. I feel cheated.

The first module discusses MPOOTCIDNN's (My Particular Organization Of TCIDNN) business strategy and says it is based on The MPOOTCIDNN Method known as 'The Method'. Bam! I'm immediately transported (my mind that is) to Ethel the Frog. Ethel the Frog? Yep! Ethel the Frog from one of my favorite Monty Python episodes. Besides Ethel the Frog, it had in it the Gas Cooker Sketch and the Ministery of Silly Walks.

Doug and Dinsdale Piranha...began to operate what they called 'The Operation'.

Flashback over, I began to concentrate on the matter at hand, i.e. learning sumpin'. I soon discover that you can actually bypass the screens in the module and go right to the review questions and, this is the neat part, you don't have to answer the questions properly:

The Method is important because:

  1. We think it's cool
  2. Our customers think it's cool
  3. No one thinks it's cool
  4. We have to use it to justify all the time and expense we put into developing it.

OK let's see...What should I pick?

  • Click on a
  • Close...but there's a better answer.
  • Click on b
  • good try...but there's a better answer
  • click on c...
  • try again (What? No encouraging words?)
  • click on d
  • Right...you're awesome (honest...If ya get the right answer it says super or awesome)

Now here's the neat part. If you write down all these questions with the right answers you've got it made because, with a few minor differences, these are the same questions used for the final exam. One of my coworkers told me this. I, ahem, aced the final exam. No. No. Hold the applause.

So the only real reason I went through most of the course was to increase my buzzword vocabulary. A short list follows:

  • Harvest
  • core processes
  • practitioners (that's right...I can't hide it. We're doctors)
  • leverage
  • synergy
  • deliverables
  • engagements (which mean's ya gotta have engagement teams, engagement models and engagement families)
  • capability pattern (sorry...don't have a clue)
  • method exponents (as in method exponents facilitate the implementation of The Method)
  • cross domain dependencies

It was about this time that I quit keeping track and tested my way through the rest of the course. Then all that was left was to send in my completion notification.

  • Click here to verify your completion.
  • big ol' CLICK

I did it! I'm done! I've Crawled to Failure! I am a Failure!

It's a wonderful feeling!

Thursday, June 27

Elation at GOC Central

It's a happy day here at GOC Central in Beautiful Dunwoody Georgia. Last night I was looking at the links list at Rantburg, and it said if your name should be on it, e-mail me. I did. Hey, I'm not above a little begging. Much to my surprise, not only did Fred add my name, but he also gave me a plug. Thank yew Fred! Rantburg is one of my favorite sites. No really. I'd say that even without the plug. He's a smart-ass. I'm a smart-ass. He's just smarter and more consistent than I am. Also, looking at my referrals, I also got a plug from Daily Pundit. Thanks to Mr. Quick. Now, I'm under pressure not to suck. No guarantees in that department. Remember, in the blogosphere, ya get whatcha pay for.

I remember reading something Steven Den Beste wrote a while back. We bloggers do this for the love of writing. In my case, I do it because the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation does not realize how perceptive I am and publish every letter I write. So, I write to the blogosphere. If someone reads what I write, that's even better.

So let's see who fed it and who ate it. OK I stole that from Dennis Miller, but he quit using it. Got this story off of Drudge:

U.S. tennis great Martina Navratilova criticized her adopted homeland in a German newspaper on Wednesday, saying money is the only thing that matters there.

She oughtta know. She made enough.

Navratilova, a Czech-born American who won 18 grand slam singles titles when she dominated women's tennis in the late 1970s and 1980s, also wrote in an article for Die Zeit weekly that she believed free speech was being suppressed in the United States.

Got any examples?

"The most absurd part of my escape from the unjust system is that I have exchanged one system that suppresses free opinion

Where you'd get shot.

for another,"

Where we just laugh at you for saying sumpin' that stupid.

said Navratilova, 45, who fled Czechoslovakia at the age of 18 to go to the United States.

Where she would get to make a lot of money. Also she'd get to keep it.

"The Republicans in the United States manipulate public opinion and sweep any controversial issues under the table," Navratilova said.

Bonking interns. Fraudulent land deals. Illegal campaign contributions. Turnstiles in the Lincoln bedroom. What? That wasn't the Republicans? Don't Lanny Davis, Paul Begala, and James Carville work for the Republican Party?

"It's depressing. Decisions in America are based solely on the question of 'how much money will come out of it' and not on the questions of how much health, morals or the environment suffer as a result."

And somehow we've managed to create the most free and open society with the highest standard of living than any country in the history of this planet. I guess we're just lucky.

Why don't you, Alec Baldwin, and Roger Altman....oh, never mind. That's too easy. Anyway the three egos wouldn't fit on the same plane.

And now lets return to the religion of peace and tolerance with this gem from the Jerusalem Post, also courtesy of Drudge.

An article appearing this week in the Palestinian Authority newspaper, Al-Hayat Al-Jadeeda, criticizes US National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice as "the dark- complexioned lady" whose policies have "dealt a blow to the image of the African-American in the eyes of the vast majority of the world's inhabitants."

And I don't think the Democratic Party was too thrilled either. Bush's cabinet that 'looks like America' actually went out and got some competent people who 'look like America.'

Itamar Marcus, director of the Israeli Palestinian Media Watch, quotes the article published on Sunday as saying: "My enthusiasm for George Bush increased after he entered the White House and chose to appoint to his administration two people from among the colored,

OK. Where's the diversity training? They're African-Americans. Or black. Or sometimes even people of color. Never colored. That went out in the 60's.

a first in the history of American administrations: Secretary of State Colin Powell and National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice.

And dontcha just know that the Democrats wish they would have done that? That's all right. Hillary can have Jesse Jackson as Secretary of State and Al Sharpton as National Security Advisor when she's da Prez.

We said then, both in private and in public, that these colored

African-American

senior officials are a part of the Third World,

No, they live in the United States. Last time I checked that wasn't the Third World.

even if only due to the color of their skin," Dr. Abd Al-Aziz Al-Maqaleh writes in the Arabic-language daily, according to Marcus' translation, which he released on Thursday.

Oh, I get it. If you're 'colored' you live in the Third World. Thanks for straightening me out on that Doc.

"But what happened after that was embarrassing and astonishing, especially what happened with the dark-complexioned lady,

Don't she know her place?

or, more accurately: black,

That's better.

the National Security Advisor," the article continues. "What compounds the astonishment is that the Black Lady always makes a point, whether the opportunity presents itself or not, of denouncing the Palestinians to the point

See she's got this thing about people who like to strap bombs to 'emselves and blow up innocent people. We've tried to talk to her about that, but she's adamant. She just thinks that's not right.

where her positions and statements have come to be nearly daily lessons to the American people and the world,

That people who strap bombs to 'emselves to off innocent people are terrorists.

causing regret to every Arab who was optimistic about her arrival on the political scene."

All them other colored people wuz always on our side. How come she's not like Cynthia McKinney? She hates Jews.

According to Marcus, the writer goes on to call Rice a "pitiful woman who has dealt a blow to the image of the African-American in the eyes of the vast majority of the world's inhabitants."

Yep! They're not all demagogues like Jesse and Rev Al. Condi, you go girl!

Wednesday, June 26

More Fun With Molly

It's been a while since I've had some fun with my favorite humorist, Molly Ivins. So Without further ado, let's go to work on this column about war and peace.

"Jaw, jaw," said Winston Churchill, "is better than war, war."

Unless dealing with Hitler, Hitler. Or Saddam, Saddam.

I bring up the not-often-contested notion that peace is better than war only because it seems the Bush administration is incapable of grasping the self-evident.

The self evident is that peace is better than war, but war has been declared on us.

According to The New York Times,

All the news that's fit to distort.

President Bush has directed his top security people -- a happy nest of neo-con hawks -- "to make a doctrine of pre-emptive action against states and terrorist groups trying to develop weapons of mass destruction.

And this is bad because...

" This means, we declare war first. This dogma "will be the foundation of a new national security strategy."

No, once again, war has been declared on us. We're just going after the bad guys before they nuke us.

Let's see, we already have our military in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Georgia and the Philippines. We are also deeply into Colombia as part of the Drug War and have fairly regular deployment by special ops in Somalia, Iraq, Syria and Yemen.

And coming soon, to a theater of ops near you Iraq (and maybe Syria, too).

Good thing for India and Pakistan they made it into the Nuclear Club before the deadline, eh? Let's see, add Iran, North Korea and some of the nuttier princes, kings, sheiks, presidents-for-life -- I make that between 20 and 30 wars we'll have to fight under the new doctrine.

India and Pakistan did not declare war on us. Anyway, they're too busy fighting each other. And guess what, Iran is starting to suck up to us. Betcha they get real friendly if we knock Saddam off. Just like all the 'nuttier princes, kings, sheiks, presidents for life'. Just a couple of military operations and I think the little pissant countries will fall in line.

Then you have to add in all the "failed states."

I thought we covered that with the 'nuttier princes, kings, sheiks, presidents for life'.

The administration says it is "fine-tuning" the doctrine to include joint operations with other powers:

If the Euroweenies want to help out OK. If not we'll do it ourselves.

"Potential targets include weak states that have become, in the words of one official, 'petri dishes' for terrorist groups."

Like Afghanistan, maybe?

You can't exactly have a war between, say, Sierra Leone and the United States. When there's no actual government, we end up trying to control a bunch of warlords -- and, as we have learned in Somalia

Bush is not Bill Clinton.

and Afghanistan, it ain't easy.

Did I miss something? I thought Afghanistan went pretty well.

The trouble with such non-wars is that there's no exit strategy; we're in for indefinite occupation.

Go in, kill the bad guys and leave. If it works in Afghanistan, (and we'll see if it does) we oughta be able to make it work elsewhere. Don't know unless we try.

Do we really think this is a good idea?

Yep!

OK, what we're really trying to do here is set up some policy rationale for attacking Iraq

We've already done that.

and possibly the other Axes of Evil, as well.

Have you heard the news out of Iran? They're sucking up. Plus the mullahs are losing control. If we successfully take out Iraq, I don't think we'll have to worry about Iran. As for North Korea, its economy is in shambles and its people are starving. It just may implode like the Soviet Union did.

It's not that easy to argue against taking out Saddam.

Good. Let's not bother.

But as Joshua Marshall

Who's he?

points out in the current issue of The Washington Monthly, the people who are urging us to attack Iraq are either dishonest or simplistic, or both, in their arguments.

Are these the same people who wanted to go after Afghanistan?

They are failing to ask, much less answer, some basic questions about the risks. Their cheerful premise that it will relatively easy to take out Saddam is based on their equally cheerful ignorance.

I'm sorry, I missed that Defense Department strategy meeting. Was it on MSNBC? No one watches that network. Molly, no one said it would be easy to take out Saddam. If it were, we would have done it already.

What the hawks hope is that the Iraqi people hate Saddam Hussein

They do.

and will be delighted to see us show up and liberate them.

The people of Afghanistan were happy to see us.

Unfortunately, we'll have to bomb them first. In case you hadn't noticed, this tends to make us unpopular.

Depends on how many people we kill. Our bombs have gotten pretty selective. Not too much collateral damage in Afghanistan. I know the Kurds and the Shi'ites will be happy to see us. They hate Saddam. He gassed 'em.

Marshall reports, "When asked what would happen if America encountered an embittered civilian population after fighting a grisly battle for Baghdad,

We're hoping that doesn't happen. Iraqis surrender better than the French.

Perle replied with a question, 'Suppose the Iraqis are dancing in the streets after Saddam is gone?'"

Could happen. Lot's of Afghanis were doing it after the rout of the Taliban. Cue the music.

That non-answer is based on the false premise that if the Iraqis hate Saddam, they're bound to love us, which is nonsense.

Actually, we don't care if they love us. Just don't make weapons of mass destruction and be good little Iraqis.

Asked about the possibility that an attack on Iraq would so upset Arab peoples they would overthrow now-friendly governments in Jordan, Egypt

Ain't gonna happen. And if it does, we got Israel to cover our flanks, thanks to Bush's latest policy on the Middle East. Pretty neat, huh?

and Saudi Arabia,

Mustn't forget out 'friends' the Saudis.

the neo-cons dismiss the question. "All the better if you ask me," Adelman told Marshall. What's better about having Islamist fanatics running Egypt and Saudi Arabia?

Egypt loses $3 billion a year. The Saudi's? That's a good question. The regime couldn't be worse than what they got now. What regime do you think sponsers most of the terrorism?

If we're going to do this, I suggest the administration prepare the country for exactly how big the risks are.

I seem to remember a few speeches about that. Maybe Molly missed 'em. They were on all the networks. One of them was the State of the Union.

Unfortunately, it seems more inclined to question the patriotism of anyone who asks questions.

Depends on the questions.

As for the longer menu of war and near-war under the Bush Doctrine, why not try peace instead?

All we are saying is give peace a chance.

The hope of the world has been the slow growth and development of international law.

Stop it! Your killing me! International law? Who enforces it? The United Nations? Pass me the bong. I need a real good hit after that one!

Announcing that we will declare war "pre-emptively" whenever we feel like it does nothing to promote peace.

Huh? She lost me there. We're not trying to promote peace. We're trying to prevent lunatics from killing us.

What makes us think our intelligence is good enough to learn if and where such weapons are being developed?

After eight years of Clinton it's not. But we're working on it.

When Clinton tried to go after Al Qaeda,

To distract us from Monica.

he missed Osama bin Ladin by an hour

Dammit! Just missed! All I got were a few goats!

and destroyed a harmless pharmaceutical factory in Sudan. The FBI, the CIA and the rest of them managed to ignore the warning signs on 9-11.

And even if we did, we couldn't have stopped it because it would have involved profiling men of Middle Eastern descent which you liberal twits won't let us do.

We're not competent enough to go around declaring "pre-emptive war."

For the millionth time, the war has been delared against us. If you sponsor terrorism, you are against us.

Why not announce in advance that we plan to work with other countries on solving the problem of terrorism.

Saddam, we'd like to talk to you about terrorism. Could we come over next Tuesday. Let's do lunch.

Why not try waging peace first?

Kumbaya.

A.J. Muste said, "There is no way to peace: Peace is the way."

George Bush said, 'In the war on terror, you are either with us, or against us'.

What can this doctrine possibly achieve except creating more hatred of the United States?

Ya know Molly, I don't really care if they hate us or not. I just don't want to see any more 9/11's.

Tuesday, June 25

What Did He Say?

Should be a real short blog tonight. Gonna say a few things about Bush's speech. Opinions are all over the map. Chris Johnson, over at MJC thinks it's full of empty platitudes and cliches. While den Beste thinks it is a policy statement. P. J. O'Rourke, in one of his books (and I'm sorry, I cannot remember which one except it is the only one I don't have), called the Middle East God's monkey house. His solution was to build a big ol' fence around the region and let 'em slug it out. That's pretty close to what Bush is saying.

My interpretation:

  1. To the Palestinian people. 'You Palestinians have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Israel is here to stay. Live with it. You never did get around to changing that pesky little clause in the PLO charter calling for the destuction of Israel. 'Oh man, we really meant to get around to it, but we've been too busy building bombs and brainwashing children.' It's now up to you. If you stop the terrorism you may get a state. If you don't, Sharon can do what he wants. Make your choice.'
  2. To Arafat. 'Yasser, we're sick and tired of your bullshit. You've had many opportunities to be a statesman. You prefer being a terrorist. It's time for you to go. You are the weakest link. G'bye.'
  3. To Prince Abdullah. "How dare you lecture me you SOB. Have you met my friend flip? He's a bird.'
  4. To Syria, 'Remember when I said that were with us or agin' us? Your choice bucko. Reign in Hezbollah or get ready for an urban renewal program in Damascus.'
  5. To the rest of the Arab world. 'Tell the Palestinians to knock it off. And quit funding terrorism. Peace in the Middle East is your problem. Israel is here to stay. Deal with it. We're gonna take Saddam out with or without you.'
  6. To Iran. 'Stay out of it. Quit funding Hezbollah. You too could have an urban renewal project. I'm not Jimmy Carter.'

It looks like Cheney, Rice, and Rumsfeld won the battle with Powell and the State Department. Now, we get to see If Powell will get on board or decide to resign at a later date.

What does the New York Times have to say about it?

Today, however, after a week of renewed Palestinian suicide bombings, Mr. Bush declared the price of statehood for 4.5 million Palestinians, and it will be high: the removal of Yasir Arafat as the Palestinian leader.

And an end to terrorism. We will not stop the Israelis from defending themselves.

The policy is still short on the details of how a cease-fire could be put in place — how the Israeli Army might be coaxed out of the West Bank or how Palestinian security institutions might be rebuilt to prevent suicide bombings. Those are important factors in creating conditions for a political process that could move forward.

Sounds pretty straight forward to me. Dump Arafat and stop terrorism. Unfortunately, a generation that has been brainwashed into glorifying death and instilled with overwheming hatred can't be fixed in three years. How about ten years? How about twenty years? That's the problem. And it is the Palestinians' problem, not ours. They can embrace civilized behavior or they can continue living in desolation and squalor. Their choice. Do you think Israel wants to maintain a military presence in the West Bank?

For all the risks in a policy that sends a sharp message to Mr. Arafat that he is irrelevant, the recent track record of splitting differences in the Middle East has been a dismal failure. "Everything is shoved down the road so, and it was so conditional," said Richard W. Murphy, a onetime assistant secretary or state for the Middle East who served Democratic and Republican administrations. He added that Mr. Bush could face a "dilemma" if — in defiance of American pressure to remove the icon of their national movement — Palestinians re-elect Mr. Arafat at the first opportunity, which is expected to be next spring.

No problem. Arafat stays. No state. See how easy that was?

"Arafat never struck me as the kind who would want to step down in the name of national interest, because he thinks he knows it better than anyone else," Mr. Murphy said.

No problem. Arafat stays. No state. See how easy that was?

A significant risk is that while Mr. Bush waits for Palestinians to live up to the benchmarks he set forth from the Rose Garden of the White House, the violence will simply continue, or even intensify.

Then that puts the ball in the Israelis' court. Sharon, or if he is not successful, Netanyahu crushes the Palestinians, or initiates ethnic cleansing by removing them to Gaza or Lebanon.

It was also unclear how changing the Palestinian leadership would actually proceed after the United States and European countries helped Palestinians carry out local and national elections over the next year, or how those elections would be carried out at all if violence and Israeli occupation of the Palestinian territories continued.

Stop the violence. Act civilized. Grow up. Sounds pretty straight forward to me. Once again, it is the Palestinian's choice.

Mr. Indyk added that he was concerned that Mr. Bush offered too little clarity to Palestinians. "He needed to give definition to what the Palestinian state would look like and that would give the Palestinians a greater sense of what they would get in return for ditching their leadership." he said.

The state would look like whatever they wanted it to look like as long as it was willing to coexist peacefully with Israel. Once again, pretty clear to me.

...Arab adviser said he did not think most Arab leaders were alarmed that Mr. Bush had taken a muscular stand on the need to create a democratic and transparent state for Palestinians.

They should be.

"The democratization of the Palestinian leadership is a point well taken, and obviously it was targeted against Arafat, but there will be elections there and we will see," the adviser said.

Dump Arafat. Or, no state. Bush didn't stutter.

Putting the best face on the speech in Washington was Hassan Abdulrahman, Mr. Arafat's official representative here. The president, he said, "spoke of many things that we wanted to hear, an end to the Israeli occupation, and he challenged Israelis to freeze the settlements, withdraw their troops and respect Palestinian rights."

And one thing he didn't want to hear: dump Arafat.

Asked whether he understood the speech to be a direct challenge to Mr. Arafat's rule, Mr. Abdulrahman was evasive. He pointed out that Mr. Bush never used Mr. Arafat's name in the speech when he called for new leadership.

He didn't have to. What did you want to hear? Mr. Arafat meet the dustbin of history. Dustbin meet Arafat. Ciao, baby.

For now, Mr. Abdulrahman said he preferred not to focus on the "ambiguity" of Mr. Bush's remarks, and added: "He asked us for elections that may produce a new leadership. We are committed to elections and Yasir Arafat is committed to elections."

Ambiguity? Ambiguity? And Arafat is committed to elections? As long as he can get Jimmy Carter to oversee them? Have you been listening? Arafat is history. We're tired of dealing with him. Na na na na. Na na na na. Hey hey hey. Goo-od By-ey

Still, a number of experts expressed concerns that Mr. Bush has set out a task that Palestinians will be hard put to perform.

I agree with this. But, if they want a state, they gotta quit killing Jews and accept the fact of Israel's existence. Once again, it's up to them.

Stephen P. Cohen of the Israel Policy Forum said that while Mr. Bush today charted a vision of a solution that marks "an advance over where the United States has been in the past," the prescription the president laid out "still has the basic framework which is that the Palestinians have to act first."

That's probably why it will fail. The Palestinians have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity.

But, Mr. Indyk added, if Mr. Bush is trying satisfy the calls from Arab leaders to act on the Palestinian problem before moving "on to Baghdad" to topple Saddam Hussein, then the policy "is not going to work."

Uh, Mr. Indyk, what Mr. Bush is saying is that solving the Palestinian problem is not connected to moving "on to Baghdad". And he's telling Arab leaders exactly that. He's taken the leash off of Ariel Sharon. And he's telling the Arab states to acknowledge Israel's right to exist and quit funding terror. Saddam Hussein is soon gonna be history and if the rest of the Arab states are not careful, their regimes will be next.

At least, I'm hoping that is what he is saying. Only time will tell.

Monday, June 24

Liar, Liar, Hair's on Fire

Another interesting weekend here in Beautiful Dunwoody Georgia. Went to friends for dinner Saturday evening. After the salad and steak out by the pool (by the pool...well la de da...obviously a bunch of rich white folks...uh, yeah, Dunwoody is populated by upper class folks, most of us worked our butts off to get that way), we went inside to have some cheese and wine. As Michael was scanning the channels, he came across a show on MSNBC, the network that no one watches, that grabbed our attention.

The first half of the show was about men who became women. Ya know, went through the sex change surgery and took the hormone treatment. We were glued to the TV screen. What we really thought was funny, and what Cindy told me was the norm, was that most of these people said they preferred women. So, they were lesbians trapped in a man's body? Weird.

But it gets better. The second half of the show was about cross dressing. I know it was not politically correct (but as anyone who has been following my writing for the last two months knows the grouchy old cripple is not at all politically correct), but we were laughing our heads off. One of the men featured worked for TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) and mentioned that he had talked to the local diversity council for TCIDNN. At that, Michael and Cindy turned and looked at me and I just had to say, 'At TCIDNN, we really value diversity.'

So MSNBC is now the trash network? Why did they let Geraldo go? This program was presented in all seriousness. The three of us watching seriously believed that when this show was written, the writers were doing it as a joke. We figgered they must be watching it, rolling on the floor, and saying 'The stupid bastards actually bought it.'

I have expressed my opinions on diversity many times. I did a post on May 15 where I discussed some of my views on gays and other diversity type folks. What I essentially said was if someone is gay, I don't care. And if a man wants to dress up as a woman, I don't care. Why are you telling me about it? Do you want to come to work like that? I don't care! It's none of my business. Can you do the job? That's really all I care about. Can you deal with people at work laughing at you if you look really stupid dressed as woman? If not, don't go whining to the diversity police about it. Not everyone thinks that is normal behavior. That is why, even in business casual, there are still dress codes. Don't expect the company to change the dress codes because you are a loonie. There, I said it. I think cross dressers are loonie. I'm sure some of the things that I do in the privacy of my home could be construed as loonie behavior. That is why I do them in the privacy of my home. I certainly do not go on national television to tell everyone about it. No wait. This is MSNBC we're talking about here. It's not really national television. Their highest rated program is the Imus in the Morning radio show!

So we learned a lot more than we really wanted to about transgenders and transvestites. Thanks MSNBC for performing this valuable service.

Sunday, I slept late. As is my wont, I laid in bed leisurely reading the Atlanta paper. Braves won. The Mets suck. Good news so far. A letter from Eric Hovdesven of Atlanta about how Cynthia Tucker was picking on poor lil Cynthia McKinney. Let's look at some excerpts:

In her June 9 column ("GOP to blame for blacks' fear of the 'R' word"), Cynthia Tucker continues to misrepresent U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney's call for an investigation into intelligence failures before accepting the administration's unprecedented military spending increases under the guise of responding to Sept. 11.

No Eric, she thinks Ms McKinney is a loonie. She has stated facts. You know those little things that are anathema to leftists. Our resident loonie said that Bush knew the attacks were coming and did nothing to prevent them so his cronies in the defense industry could make lots of money. First, the only way he could have prevented them was to 'profile' Middle Eastern men, which even after 9/11, we still cannot do(!!!!!) thanks to loonies like you and our resident nutcase. Second, in case you didn't notice, 9/11 was a declaration of war. The increase of military spending is not 'under the guise of responding to Sept.11', it is a direct response to Sept 11, you booger eatin' moh-ron.

What is most troubling is that the attacks by Tucker, the head editorialist of Atlanta's only daily metrowide newspaper, have become embarrassingly emotional and mean-spirited.

Here Eric falls back on the tried and true method of leftists (Leftist Handbook of Debate, page 5...OK I made that up) of calling someone 'mean spirited' when they cannot argue their case on merit or using facts. Welfare reform...mean spirited. Insisting people take responsibility for their actions...mean spirited. Cynthia McKinney is a certified nutcase...mean spirited.

Apparently, Tucker knows that the facts do not support her incessant attacks on the congresswoman so she reverts to name-calling, hurling words such as "wild and wacky," "loose cannon" and "outrageous rhetoric."

Here again, most people of even moderate inteliigence would describe McKinney that way. Guess you haven't been listening to her very much, huh, Eric? I guess Eric would call McKinney a towering intellect or a voice of reason. I got it. How about the conscience of the House of Representatives? We got Joe Liberman in the Senate and Cynthia McKinney in the House.

Finally, as if that isn't enough, Tucker finishes the job with her underlying message that McKinney and those who vote for her are somehow of lesser intellect than Tucker and her Harvard-educated friends.

Actually Eric, if she's saying anything it's that people of normal intellect should recognize that Mckinney is a wacko.

Well, shoot, even I can see what is going on here.

Sorrry Eric, you can't.

And then Cynthia Tucker writes a column about our insane drug war. Whoa Nellie! What's going on here? I keep agreeing with her. Have I been teleported to an alternate universe?

At 4:30 I hop into the shower to get ready for the Sommelier Guild of Atlanta's annual banquet. I'm going with Michael and Cindy. That way, Cindy can drive if Michael and I have too much to drink, which is usually the case. I'm halfway to their house when I realize I didn't shave. Getting old is a bitch. The memory is the second thing to go and I can't remember the first. So, I shave at their house. Cindy says it was because I was trying to decide what dress to wear. I said that's right. I looked in the closet and I couldn't find a single thing to wear. Michael has printed off a map from Map Quest and I've printed a map from Yahoo. I like Yahoo because the printed directions are printed in larger type which makes it easier for old farts, like myself, to read. Even so, we did make one wrong turn. We needed my sister, who is a splendid navigator.

So we made it to the restaurant OK. It is in a rather rundown neighbnorhood of Atlanta that is undergoing gentrification. Lots of old warehouses means lots of new yuppie lofts. The restaurant is in an old converted industrial building. We were going to eat outside, but since it was raining the dinner was moved upstairs. Oh boy! Stairs! I love stairs! I'm a cripple, ya know. So I make it up the stairs OK. I'm sure some of you are asking about now, 'What's with the title? What does any of this have to do with 'Hair's on Fire'? We're almost there.

While Cindy is getting me a glass of champagne, I'm leaning against the wall to make standing easier. All of a sudden I smell something burning. What's that I wonder? I turn around and right about the height of my head are these little wall mounted gas lamps. I put two and two together (hadn't started drinking yet so my thought processes were still what passes for normal for GOC) and realized it was my hair burning! I start patting out the fire and calmly tell Cindy that my hair was on fire. 'Oh my God!' she says. 'Your hair is on fire!' Ummm. Didn't I just say that? We manage to get the fire under control without having to call the fire department. Fortunately, Cindy is a nurse and is able to determine that there is no serious damage done. I just feel stupid.

The dinner was delicious. The wines, as usual are very good. I mean, this is the Sommelier Guild of Atlanta. Our sole raison d'etre is to drink good wine. I sat across from two men who are very active in Georgia politics. They are Republicans. There aren't really too many Democrats in the Sommelier Guild. We had a nice conversation all during the dinner. They told me some interesting things about some Republican politicians. They also had some dirt on Cynthia McKinney. Since I cannot verify it, I will not repeat it here. They also told me I could vote in the Democratic primary. Guess whom I won't be voting for?

After the dinner, I make it down the stairs OK. Down is easy. Whoooops! See, I'm down. Cindy's driving. It's my responsibility to get us back to I-75. I get us to North Ave. Close. From there, Michael knows how to get to I-75. A good exercise in teamwork. We make it back to their house OK. I make it home OK. In all, a very enjoyable evening. My head doesn't even hurt.

But, may I recommend, if you go out to dinner, hair flambe should not be on the menu.

Unless, of course, you are Michael Jackson.

Saturday, June 22

Arab Day at the AJC

I don't usually blog on Saturdays, but I picked up the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation and the thought flashed through my mind: What's going on here? One of the headlines was Charlotte man guilty of funding terrorists (not found guilty as I would expect the AJC to say), and right below it was the headline Arab-American dollars shore up McKinney. What's this? Was there some kind of Freudian slip here? It almost sounds like the AJC is trying to do a little guilt by association on our 'cutest little communist in congress'.

Let's look a little closer at the article on 'conspiracy theory Cynthia'. First off, they always seem to show the same picture with the bug eyes and the open mouth. Cynthia's mouth is always open so they may as well. The piece starts out:

The relationship that Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) shares with Arab-Americans runs deeper than her call for more attention to the Palestinian side of the Middle Eastern conflict.

She hates Jews as much as they do.

The DeKalb County congresswoman's connections stretch significantly into the pockets and purses of the Arab-American and Muslim communities.

They recognize a kindred spirit. See above.

About one-fourth of the individuals who have contributed to McKinney's campaigns over the past five years have names that appear to be Arab-American or Muslim, according to an informal study of Federal Election Commission records.

See above.

Their contributions total $142,950, a full third of the money McKinney has collected from individuals over the last five years, a review of government records by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution indicates.

Bigotry is profitable.

Arab-American leaders, including some who believe their community has been singled out for persecution since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, say the explanation for their generosity is simple: McKinney is a longtime supporter.

Did I mention that she also hates Jews?

Their concerns are particularly pertinent in the wake of regulations proposed by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft to require certain foreign visitors, particularly those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent, to submit to more extensive border security checks.

Some people would call this 'ethnic profiling', but since all the 9/11 hijackers were men of 'Middle Eastern and Muslim descent', those of us with the mental capacity above that of a third grade pissant would call that 'common sense', something we have seen very little of lately. Remember, it is 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' who have declared war on this country and I'm still waiting for 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' in this country to condemn 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' for performing acts of terrorism on this country. And I don't want to hear any 'root cause' bullshit. I'm sick of that phrase. Here's the 'root cause': You assholes hate us and our way of life. You want war? Fine. You started it. We're gonna win it. Shut up and quit whining. You don't like it? Delta is ready when you are.

Arab-American leaders say McKinney has spoken in their defense when other members of Congress would not. They appreciate that she has lamented the quality of life that Palestinians in the Middle East suffer.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all Israel's fault. If they would just lay down their arms and let us slaughter them everything would be all right.

"McKinney has addressed our conventions more than once. She has received standing ovations.

Screaming 'Death to the Jews!' will do that.

She has brought tears to people's eyes more than once," said Hussein Ibish, spokesman for the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee.

Hussein, old buddy, on this we agree: Cynthia brings tears to my eyes every time she opens her mouth. Sometimes they are tears of laughter. Sometimes they are tears of rage. Mostly they are tears of sadness that I have to be in her district.

The contributions are a sizable chunk of McKinney's campaign bank account, especially when compared with those of other members of Congress. For instance, Rep. John Dingell (D-Mich.), whose district includes part of the largest Arab-American community in the nation, took in $21,525 from individual contributors with names that appear to be Arab-American or Muslim, according to the AJC study. That amount equals not quite 3 percent of Dingell's $835,893 in campaign contributions over the five-year period.

Maybe he does not score as high on the Jew hate meter?

"My relationships with the Arab-American and American Muslim communities are based on the belief that they, like Americans of all ethnic and religious backgrounds, are full members of the American family," McKinney said.

Except for white people and Jews. She left that part out.

"As African-Americans, we understand what it's like to have our values, institutions and leadership berated or delegitimized," she said. "It's not enough just to speak out against hate crimes. We must also oppose the kind of stereotyping and incitement that allow violence to thrive and that are directed at Arabs and Muslims with increasing regularity in some circles."

If the Jews would just lay down their arms.....If white folks would just pay us reparations....If we could just pass a hate crime bill.......

Not everyone is happy with McKinney's relationship with some Arab-Americans. The conservative Southeastern Legal Foundation, based in Atlanta, has charged that some of her donors have pledged support for organizations engaged in terrorism.

No! How could that be? Islam is a religion of peace.

The leader of one of the groups, the American Muslim Council, did not return a reporter's telephone call, but he has told other publications that he supports only the humanitarian efforts of the organizations in question, not terrorist attacks.

Women, old people and children are legitimate military targets. Those five year old girls are fierce fighters.

McKinney's relationship with the Arab-American community goes back years. In 1991, as a member of the Georgia House, she admonished President George Bush for attacking Iraq. About two-thirds of her House colleagues angrily walked out.

If only two thirds of her district would do the same and vote her out. I do my part every election.

Arab-American organizations have been appreciative. While there are a handful of Arab-American officeholders in Washington, including Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham, those who speak out to defend Arab-Americans and explain their views are few, Ibish said.

We hate Jews. We hate Israel. We want to kill Jews. We want to obliterate Israel. Sounds pretty easy to defend to me.

Over the years, she has spoken often at Arab-American charity fund-raisers and political functions, and she was a good friend of Hala Maksoud, head of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, who died recently.

I'm just curious about how much of that 'charity' money went to fund terrorism?

"She has a real understanding of our concerns and our experiences, which is quite rare for any member of Congress," Ibish said. "Also, she's got staffers who were former interns here at [the anti-discrimination committee], so there's a professional connection here as well."

Aha! Professional Jew haters.

At the same time, McKinney's relationship with members of the Jewish community continues to be strained. Jewish leaders were chagrined in 1996 when her father, Democratic state Rep. Billy McKinney, made anti-Semitic remarks during her re-election campaign for Congress. The congresswoman distanced herself from her father's comments, but the strain remained.

See I inherited my Jew hating from my father. I just can't help it. She distanced herself from the comments, but she did not condemn them. Oh, her opponent that year was Jewish.

Jewish leaders also have been upset that McKinney has refused to distance herself from controversial Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan.

Louie and I are good friends and we have a lot in common: We both hate Jews and white folks. What's wrong with that?

Their opinion has not changed, even when McKinney has tried to apologize for or clarify her position.

I'm sorry I hate those hooknosed bastards.

Each time, she'll try to clean herself up but then dig herself deeper," said Deborah Lauter, the Atlanta-based Southeast regional director for the Anti-Defamation League.

I'm really, really sorry I hate those hooknosed bastards.

"Her attacks on President Bush were a final straw," Lauter said. "They were perceived as being so off the wall -- that's really the only way I can express it -- that conjuring up a conspiracy theory, at a time when the president and all Americans are trying to deal with this crisis in a realistic way, just discredited her further."

Now here Lauter makes an assumption that Cynthia ever had any credibility in the first place.

A few weeks later, however, McKinney claimed some vindication when the administration acknowledged that federal agencies had received some hint beforehand that terrorists might attack.

And a few days ago I made the contention that this was akin to knowing that Cynthia was gonna say something stupid. In this case we know when: every time she opens her mouth. How to stop it, short of putting a gag on her, is another thing. How to stop 9/11 would have required 'ethnic profiling' which of course would have made Cynthia and all 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' pitch a massive hissy fit. Isn't this where we came in?

And Now on to an article about the Zogby brothers.

James Zogby is the most recognized political voice of the Arab-American community, a key player in trying to reshape American policy in the Middle East.

James, 56, is founder and president of the Arab American Institute, a Washington-based organization that not only promotes the political interests of Americans of Arab descent but also works to promote American understanding of Arab interests in the Middle East conflict.

See above.

The organization runs on a $1 million annual budget, about 30 percent of which comes from foreign sources --- individuals, not governments.

Foreign individual Jew haters? Osama bin Laden? The Saudi royal family? Could we see list of your donors please?

James is ''a rabid Jew hater and Israel basher,'' and John displays ''familial bias'' even while attempting to ''operate under the guise of professionalism,'' Ari Rubin, a spokesman for the Jewish Defense League, said this week in response to questions about the Zogbys.

Morton Klein, national president of the Zionist Organization of America, claims James Zogby ''praises terrorist killers of Americans,'' a reference to a Zogby statement once describing the violence in the Middle East as the product of ''pent-up Palestinian desperation.''

No the violence in the Middle East is due to the fact that the Palestinians do not want peace with Israel. They want the total destruction of Israel. They have had many opportunities to have their own state. They turned the last offer down in favor of more acts of terrorism hoping for more concessions. The terror was what got Ariel Sharon elected. Now the 'pent-up Palestinian desperation' is that the Israelis may just decide to wage total war and push 'em all into Lebanon. I'm gonna piss a lot of people off here, but I'm gonna put Israeli politics in the context of 50's and 60's southern politics. The Palestinians are the niggers of the Middle East. The rest of the Arab countries hate them almost as much as they hate the Jews. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict gives the Arab street something to hate. Without the hatred of Israel, the corrupt Arab, despotic regimes might be in danger. Arafat overplayed his hand this time, because he unleashed violence that he either cannot or will not stop. Either way, he is no longer relavent. And if Sharon can't stop the violence, the Israelis will turn to Netanyahu. George Wallace almost lost an election in Alabama, because his opponent was more of a segregationist than he was. He said he would never be outniggered again. Netanyahu is outniggering Sharon.

But James' close association with Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and his spirited defense of the Palestinian leader amid the escalation of suicide bombings in Israel give Zogby critics new opportunities to denounce his work.

I cannot see why that would happen.

''Do I know [Arafat]? Sure, I do," James said. "Do I disagree with him? Sure, I do. Do I feel enormous pain when I see him humiliated? Sure, I do.

I don't. Humiliation is too good for that scumbag.

I feel terrible pain for that. No leader of a people should have to endure that.

No, in Arafat's case he should have to endure worse. How about slow roasting over a fire? How about a hot poker shoved up his ass? How about dry shaving that pathetic beard off his face? All of them work for me.

It's a hate crime what's been done to him

No! It's a hate crime what's been done to this little girl. That is a hate crime Jimmy boy. Humiliation is way down the list. Like maybe not being invited to the latest meeting of the Jew Hater's Club.

because it says to his people you are all being treated this way. He's not a monster by any stretch of the imagination.

Maybe to you he's not a monster by any strectch of the imagination, but by any standard of civiized behavior he is a monster and should be hauled up on charges of crimes against humanity. Mr. Eichman, Mr. Hitler, meet Mr. Arafat. Yasser, meet Adolph and Adolph. So Yasser, I hear you're in the Jew killing business. Howya doin'? Not as good as you guys. They keep fightning back. I hate it when they do that!

He's a willful man. He wants his people free.''

To kill all the Jews they possibly can.

James said the work of his institute, from the beginning, has been ''a bridge-building exercise,'' helping Arab-Americans to ''function as full participants in American politics'' while also acting as an ''interlocutor on the Middle East,'' explaining ''what's going on in the Middle East to America'' and ''explaining America to people in the Middle East.''

What's going on in the Middle East: We're trying to kill as many Jews as we possibly can. We're trying to destroy Israel. Ever since 1948, we've been trying to drive them Jews into the sea. Explaining America to the Middle East: They don't understand that killing Jews is a good thing. What do you expect from infidel dogs?

He travels extensively in the Middle East, often giving speeches under the sponsorship or approval of the State Department. He writes a weekly newspaper column, ''Washington Watch,'' which is distributed to publications in 14 Arab countries. And he hosts a television program ''Viewpoint With James Zogby'' on Abu Dhabi Television.

Wonder what he talks about on Viewpoint With James Zogby?

"Is it an exhausting effort? Yes,'' James said. ''Do you feel that the bridge is you and you're being walked on and maybe crumbling under the pressure? Yes. Sometimes the stretch is a tough one. But as long as it's needed, we continue to do it. I think the need is greater than ever before. But the opportunities to speak out and be received are greater than ever before.''

And you thought justifying murder, bigotry and hatred was an easy job.

And now, Desmond Tutu has to weigh in with our daily dose of moral equivalence.

He said Israeli Jews "seem to have forgotten their horrible experience in Nazi Germany, where their property was confiscated, they were stripped of their possessions and many forced into concentration camps, where 6 million Jews were killed.

No Dez, they haven't forgotten that experience and they have vowed it would never happen again. That is what this is all about you santimonious bastard. When the Palestinians kill women and children it is on purpose. When the Israelis do it, it is by accident. If they were as coldblooded as the Palestinians, they would have slaughtered everyone in Jenin. Remember the Jenin Massacre? Hundreds killed? Didn't happen? But, I thought for sure....

Peace is negotiable.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That Dez. What a card!

Tutu said he condemned the use of suicide bombers and found it "reprehensible" that young Palestinians were being recruited for these acts and taught to hate Jews.

What? What's going on here? Dez, you're straying away from the talking points. Don't worry. He's coming back.

But at the same time, "I condemn equally and vehemently the terrorism of an army that can go into Arab settlements and behave in the fashion that they do ---

Ya know looking for bomb factories. Looking for murderers. Things like that.

when they can stop ambulances and when they can stop medical personnel. I don't think it speaks well for the Israeli government."

If the Palestinians would just agree to put a Bomber on Board sign on the ambulances that they're using to haul bombs, bombers and weapons, I'm sure the Israelis would let all the other ambulances pass.

Still, he thinks peace is possible between Israelis and Palestinians, if both sides resume negotiations.

He's a lot more optimistic than I am.

"You don't negotiate with your friends," he said. "You negotiate with your enemies."

He really nailed that one didn't he.

He said Israel has a right to guaranteed boundaries and Palestinians should have their own state.

Yep. Boundaries sound good. Everyone agree to boundaries? And let's give the Palestinians a state. How about Lebanon? No one's doing much with that but Syria and Hezbollah.

Gotta admit, lot's of good stuff in today's paper. This is one of those blogs that just wrote itself.

And now on to the rest of the weekend. I'm going to my friends, Michael and Cindy's, for dinner and since Michael is a wine geek, we'll knock off about three bottles of real good wine. Cindy's a good cook, so the meal will be excellent. Tomorrow, is the annual Sommelier Guild of Atlanta banquet. The food and wine at that event is also fantastic.

Have a great weekend!

Friday, June 21

Peace Process

I was gonna write something amusing about plumbing and how happy my sister will be the next time she visits, but I made the mistake of going to a few blog sites first. Go here to see a picture of one of those cruel oppressive Israelis that a brave Palestinian took out. Every time someone mentions a Palestinian state this picture should be shown. Barbarians do not deserve a state. Now, go read Lileks on the quality of education our college students are getting. This is the result of political correctness, multiculterism, and moral relativism. I used to always think it was funny that if the communist sympathizers, back in the 50's and 60's got their way, and we went communist, they would lose their freedom of speech. Just like I think socialists like Ted Turner and the Hollywood bunch aren't aware that if we did go socialist, they would lose all their money. Wait a minute!! I didn't mean that type of socialism!! Give me my money back.

Now the 'peace process'. I'm so bloody tired of hearing that phrase over and over again. Hello! George, Colin, anyone home? The Palestinians do not want peace. They have made no secret of that. None. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. I bet Churchill probably got just as tired of hearing 'Peace in our time' back in the 30's. There is no freaking 'peace process'!!!! George and Colin, go to the blackboard and write 'There is no peace process' 1000 times. Now write 'Arafat is a cold blooded killer 1000 times'. But if the Israelis would only leave the occupied territories the violence would stop. Whine. Whine. Whine. The violence will only stop when one of the following conditions is met:

  1. All the Israelis are killed or driven out of the Middle East (Arafat's and the rest of the Arab world's choice)
  2. The Palestinians are totally defeated and shown that violence will not get them a state. Not now. Not tomorrow. Never. (apparently no one's choice)

Since only intelligent folks, like those of us in the blogosphere, seem to realize that choice number 2 would actually entail less death and destruction, and the West is consumed with the 'peace process' we may as well kiss Israel goodbye. What the hell, they're only Jews, anyway.

I don't know much about psychology. I took Psych 101, but that was only 'cause I had to take a social science course and that and Sociology 101 were the two easiest courses to take. It seems to me, we seem to suffer from transference. That might not be the right term, but I'll describe what I mean. We transfer our own sense of ideals on our enemies. For example, during the Iran hostage crisis, Jimmy 'the wimp' Carter insisted on treating the Iranians as rational beings and thought diplomacy would work. Only when Reagan was elected, and everyone thought he was a mad cowboy, did the Iranians release the hostages. They were afraid of him. The same thing has happened to the United States over the last twenty years. We want people to love us. I mean, we're the good guys in white hats. We respect all cultures, even those that believe in stoning, enslaving women, cutting off hands and innocuous stuff like that. Islam is a religion of peace. And if you don't believe that, we'll kill you. The Arabs (and the Palestinans are Arabs) only understand and respect force. Jesus, read the Koran! (No I was not telling Jesus to read the Koran). Arafat has made no secret of his plans. The only reason he would agree to any type of peace was to buy time to get more weapons into the West Bank and Gaza. His main goal is the destruction of Israel. He has said it over and over. George, Colin, clean the shit out of your ears! I just read over at MCJ that even little Dickie Gephart gets it. And like Christopher Johnson (Gephardt was my congressman when I lived in St. Louis and here in Dunwoody I have Cynthia McKinney. Life is really so unfair!), I can also count on one hand the amount of times I've agreed with Gephardt over the last twenty years.

I'd like to write something more intelligent and insightful, but why bother when, as usual, Steven Den Beste does it so much better.

What I am going to say is not very polically correct. I'm not politically correct and I'm so sick of that crap anyway. I hate Yasser Arafat. I despise Yasser Arafat. Anyone who could instill so much hatred into a civilization should be hunted down and killed like the dog he is. I hate the Arabs and Islamists who think killing little children, pregnant women, and old people is glorious. I am an atheist, but at times like these I pray (non sequiter) that there is a God so that animals like these and the Muslim clerics who endorse the killing of innocents will roast in hell.

I have no more words. Look at the little girl again and tell me why we are talking about a 'peace process'. Tell me why Yasser Arafat is still alive.

Thursday, June 20

Still Crawling, Still Laughing

Acronyms, abbreviations, and other stuff used in this blog:

  • OS - Operating System (yeah this is basic and for the non techies. It will get more difficult as we progress)
  • OS/2 - a 31 bit multitask PC operating system brought out by IBM five years before Windoz 95.
  • PR - Problem Record. A record opened by the Help Desk and entered into SPTS.
  • SPTS - Stupid Problem Tracking System. A system used by MBUOMPOOTCIDNN to track user problems.
  • MBUOMPOOTCIDNN - My Business Unit Of My Particular Organization Of The Company I Dare Not Name.
  • MPOOTCIDNN - My Particular Organization Of The Company I Dare Not Name. .
  • TCIDNN - The Company I Dare Not Name.
  • YWS - Young Whipper Snapper. Usually all they know are PC's.
  • OF - Old Fart. Someone who's been around for a while. Like me, the grouchy old cripple.
  • MVS - Multiple Virtual Storage. IBM's flagship mainframe OS. Renamed OS/390. Then renamed z/OS (the z stands for zero down time. cute, huh?). But still MVS. The kernel is still the same after 15 years.
  • PTF - Program Temporary Fix. A piece of code (called a patch in PC speak) to fix a problem in MVS or one of its related components. When applied, usually breaks sumpin' else.
  • SMP/E - System Modification Program Extended. The program MVS uses to install PTF's.
  • PE - Program Error. What most PTF's get marked as. A PTF is marked PE when it breaks sumpin' else.
  • CTF - Crawl to Failure. A competency program that everyone one who works in MBUOMPOOTCIDNN must take.
  • SHTS - Stupid Hourly Tracking System. A system used to record how everyone in MBUOMPOOTCIDNN is spending their time.
  • TIETDTY - Things I Expect To Do This Year. We tell management at the start of the year what we expect to accomplish.
  • TIADTY - Things I Actually Did This Year. What we did.
  • WMTAWWD - What Management Thought About What We Did - Our evaluation.

I'm a techie. I'm a systems programmer and I program on IBM mainframes (uh, I'm sorry. I mean, of course, high end servers). I enjoy reading stuff by Steven Den Beste. He's an engineer and I've enjoyed reading his technical blogs. He wrote sumpin' a while back about OS/2 and how Microsoft won the OS battle. I came in late and never got a chance to get involved in the discussion. Somewhere down the road, I would like to weigh in on how IBM blew a five year head start and how Microsoft's monopoly has led to total mediocrity in the PC OS arena. I'm in tech support and I have to attend an Inquisition Meeting every Wednesday (another subject for a future blog) and the PC guys always have more PR's open. I always smile and say after forty years, mainframes have Reliability, Availability, and Servicability. We IPL and our OS stays up for months at a time. Our customer sat for Host (dat's us dinosaurs) always leads the pack. Nyuck. Nyuck. Nyuck. It really pisses off YWS's to have OF's laugh at them.

In my early years as a young hero sysprog when we needed a new function installed on one of our MVS systems I got the job. New functions are usually available as PTF's. So I would order the PTF and use SMP/E to apply it. The first thing I would do was run an apply check job. SMP/E being the smart program that it was back then it would check to make sure all the prerequisite PTFs were available on the system. If not, it would generate a report and the sysprog (me) would have to go over it and try to figger out what PTF's were missing. The sysprog (me) would have to track down PE chains and prereq chains. This would often involve calls to IBM support for help. Tracking down missing PTF's was a pain in the ass, until my mentor told me to treat it like a game. 'You like working crossword puzzles', he told me, 'treat this like a puzzle'. After that, it never bothered me to put on PTF's anymore. It actually became fun. Now, SMP/E is so easy, anyone can install PTF's. It has reports that tells a sysprog exactly which PTF's are missing. Almost takes some of the fun out of putting on PTFs now.

Anyway, I remembered my mentor's advice to make a game or a puzzle out of disagreeable tasks. And that brings us to CTF. The management of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN has decreed that all employees have to take CTF. After twenty-nine years at TCIDNN, I can recognize a bullshit program when I see one. Some high muckity-muck took some MBA courses at a college and got filled with bullshit by someone who has never (and never could) worked in the private sector and commisioned some bullshit artists to put together this employee competency program called Crawl to Failure. When I first started it, I grumbled (grumble, grumble, grumble) about how this was a total waste of my valuable time. But then, the words of my mentor came back to me, 'Flow with the bullshit. Bend like the reed with the wind. Treat it as a game, Grasshopper.' Which I now do. And TCIDNN pays me the same amount of money to do this as they would do if I were actually doing sumpin' productive. Wait a minute! This is productive education. I got a SHTS code for it.

So yesterday, I covered how I got to go out to a database and I saw the Vision and Mission Statement for MBUOMPOOTCIDNN. These were works of art. I mean they were primo buzzword bingo winners. Ah, if only I could write sumpin' that good, I could get a consulting (remember Dogbert says consult is a combination of con and insult) job writing Visions and Mission Statements, and putting together competency programs for American corporations. The only con job that tops that is Diversity Consultant.

Today, I started on the section of CTF for personal development. It reviewed our development process at TCIDNN. It also talked about how we were evaluated. Since our managers are oh so busy and oh so important, we have to write what they expect us to do. These are called TIETDTY's. At the end of the year, we have to submit our accomplishments. these are our TIADTY's. Then our managers evaluate us. These are WMTAWWD's. I once had a manager who realized how bogus this program was. He wrote our TIETDTY's for us. If it looked like we were gonna miss our targets, he let us change em'. That way we always met our targets. My current manager, on the other hand, is a believer in the process. Bummer!

After yesterday, I figgered our Vision and Mission Statement were slam dunk buzzword bingo winners, but in the Competency Topic in CTF, I came across this gem that pegged both the bullshit and the buzzword meters:

Let's count em'

Assets, skills, and methods: these three components

components (1)

interlock

interlock (2)

to form a unified business architecture

unified business architecture (3)

that has mutual synergy

synergy (4) (all God's chillen gotta have synergy)

among its components,

components (already used once, so doesn't count against total)

which must be delivered in a coordinated fashion.

coordinated fashion (5)

In order to ensure integrated harmony

integrated harmony (6) (I do not even know what that means)

and not duplication, MPOOTCIDNN divided the competencies

competencies (7)

required to deliver the end-to-end

end-to-end (8)

services that our customers demand among the lines of business.

lines of business (9)

Each line was given exclusive domain

exclusive domain (10)

over a particular set of competency segments.

competency segments (11)

As a consequence, MBUOMPOOTCIDNN was given responsibility for the xxxxxxxxx Competency and its associated set of four competency segments,

competency segments (already used)

which are based on the core skills

core skills (12)

of the majority of our professionals:

And then it goes on to list and describe the four competency segments. By this time, I have no more space in my brain for buzzwords. I'm taking Friday off, so I have a full three days to assimilate the current crop and clean up more storage in my brain to harvest the next integrated harmonious competencies of the lines of business and enhance my core skills and form a unified business architecture with mutual synergy to deliver end-to-end services. All this while Valuing Diversity.

So if you happen to be in a building of TCIDNN on Monday and you walk by an office and there's this old cripple guy in there looking at a computer screen and cackling away it will be me.

I'll be Crawling to Failure.

And I'll be laughing my ass off.

And they pay me for this!

Wednesday, June 19

That Vision and Mission Statement Thing

I'm in a better mood today, especially since Israel is about to do what they should have done when the violence started. I would do a few additional things:

  • Next bombing, for every Israeli killed, ten Palestinians are rounded up, put on busses, taken to Gaza and released. Here's your new home, Abdul. Next occurence, 100 Palistinians per dead Israeli. Next occurence, 1000, per dead Israeli. Pretty soon, the Palestinians could have their own state: Gaza
  • Next bombing, the family of the bomber is among the 10 per dead Israeli and their house is destroyed. Next occurence, the family and the neighbors are among the 100 per dead Israeli. The whole block is destroyed. And so on.

Now that I've fixed that problem, I'd like to return to all the fun I've been having doing CTF (Crawl to Failure) at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name). TCIDNN is made up of various organizations. Only MPOOTCIDNN (My Particular Organization Of The Company I Dare Not Name) has to do CTF. I'm sure other organizations have their own competency programs. Some may even be as zany as ours. However, I doubt it.

I'm almost finished with the last part of the third module of CTF. I've seen all the spinning objects, all the interconnected squares and all the fancy wonders of a well crafted multimedia presentation. One of the last things I have to do is go out to the database that it took me a week to access, download, and get authorization to use and find MBUOMPOOTCIDNN (My Business Unit Of My Particular Organization Of The Company I Dare Not Name) in the database. Sure enough there is MBUOMPOOTCIDNN in the list of business units. I double click on the entry which takes me to another entry of the data base.

  • .....And then.........
  • ......I stare.........
  • ......in awe.........
  • .....and wonder.........
  • .....and reverence.

For there before my wondering eyes are two of the most amazing things I have ever seen in my entire life: The VISION of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN and the MISSION STATEMENT of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN.

For the two or three of you who have been following my exploits for the last two months (my sister, my office mate, and my friend Richard) you know some of the programs that TCIDNN has presented to us to make us better worker bees. Mostly, they have been programs that amused us. Sometimes they annoyed us. But, they have always been a total waste of time (and money). For the rest of you who came in late and would like to catch up go to my archives and scroll down to May 13 and check out LFQP.

One of the things we learned during the LFQP was that every organization has to have a VISION and a MISSION STATEMENT.

Let me interject a little background on the last seventeen years of my career. I have been in the same building for the last seventeen years. I have had two different jobs in that time frame. Counting promotions, my job title has changed seven times. Due to reorganizations (one of the core businesses of TCIDNN..When in doubt, reorganize) MBUOMPOOTCIDNN has changed its name six times. I quit getting business cards made 'cause the stuff on them would change every other year. Here's a three by five card with my name and number. Put it in your address book.

So, every time MBUOMPOOTCIDNN changes its name, it needs to have a new VISION and a new MISSION STATEMENT. Three name changes ago we had framed posters of our VISION scattered throughout the building. I always got a kick out of them because you could only read them if you were less that three feet away. I never failed to call attention to my fellow workers that we obviously had a very short range VISION.

I tried to satirize corporate buzzword speak a few blogs ago with the following phrase 'use synergy to work smarter not harder and make sure you think outside the box and be ready to make a paradigm shift.' I was pretty proud of myself. Oh man, have I ever met my match. Here is the VISION of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN (with a few identifying words left out to protect umm..someone I guess. To some people, like, uh, managers, this probably makes perfect sense):

We are harvesting and producing Intellectual Capital assets that are used by our xxxxxxxxxxxxx practitioners to sell and close xxxxxxxx engagements, and help them design and deliver the best of breed work that satisfies our clients and creates long term profitable business relationships for TCIDNN.

Man, this is a slam dunk for buzzword bingo. Let's count 'em:

  • harvesting
  • Intellectual Capital assets
  • practitioners
  • engagements
  • best of breed
  • business relationships

Now you tell me. Is this not a work of art? Who could ever top this? I'll tell ya who. The person (or committee) who wrote the MISSION STATEMENT. So without further ado, (trumpet fanfare please) here is the MISSION STATEMENT of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN:

We exist as a global network to harvest and create, value, structure, publish, disseminate the best of breed intellectual capital assets related to the xxxxxxxx business to foster strong communities and provide an infrastructure and management process that address the needs of the communities to create, share and reuse Intellectual Capital for the xxxxxxxxxxx TCIDNN Organizations.

I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! I am blinded by the brilliance and craftmanship! Buzzword count:

  • global network
  • harvest
  • disseminate
  • best of breed (can never use that one enough)
  • intellectual capital assets
  • foster strong communities (I feel real good about this one)
  • infrastructure
  • management process (huh? what is a management process?)
  • address the needs of communities (give 'em what they want?)
  • Intellectual Capital (it's capitalized so we can use it again)

Totals:

  • VISION...six buzzwords or phrases
  • MISSION STATEMENT...ten buzzwords or phrases

The Winnah!!!! By a knockout!!! MISSION STATEMENT by four buzzwords.

Now I was really curious to see if there were any other business units of MPOOTCIDNN (you really need to write these abbreviations down. There will be a test later) had a VISION or a MISSION STATEMENT that could match MBUOMPOOTCIDNN's. So I started clicking on other business units of MPOOTCIDNN. I was horrified! I was shocked!! Shocked, I say!!! Some of the business units of MPOOTCIDNN didn't....even....have....a (or you ready for this?) VISION or a MISSION STATEMENT!!! How do they ever expect to win in the market place?

So all you people who work for other business units of MPOOTCIDNN here is an open challenge, any time, anyplace: Buzzword Bingo. MBUOMPOOTCIDNN's VISION and MISSION STATEMENT against yours.

I'll kick your ass!

Bingo!!!!