Friday, September 27

Ciao Y'all

I have to get up at 4:45 tomorrow to get to the airport by 6:30. I'm off to the Bay Islands in the southern Caribbean (35 miles off the coast of Honduras) for a week of Scuba diving. No cell phone. No PC. No blogging until October 7.

Thursday, September 26

Much Ado About Everything

Too much to write about, so little time. I took off work today and tomorrow to get ready for my trip to go diving in the Bay Islands. So, I'm gonna write a little about a lot today. I'll put headings on each one, so if you're not interested in that particular topic, just pass it by.

Black Prosperity

This article was in yesterday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. Excerpts follow.

Metro Atlanta is emerging as the new heart of the nation's black middle class, surpassing the traditional center --- Washington, D.C. --- in many key measures, analysis of census data released today shows.

Among major metropolitan areas, Atlanta had the fastest growth in the proportion of black households in the middle-and upper-income brackets during the 1990s, and now boasts the nation's highest percentage of black middle-income households.

The Atlanta area has also joined a list of metro areas where more than half of black households earn at least the mid-range income of $35,000 to $75,000.

Wait a minute! That can't be right. $75,000? Why, that would make them rich(!!) according to the Dimocrats. I thought all blacks were poor and oppressed. What's going on here?

The dramatic growth of metro Atlanta's black middle class in the 1990s has already helped reshape the region's economy, culture and national stature. If, as demographers expect, these trends continue, the changes will become even more pronounced.

The changes are already starting. When the Dimocrats gerrymandered redrew the congressional districts this year, they removed inner city blacks from Cynthia McKinney's district and replaced them with middle class blacks. These voted overwhelmingly for Denise Majette who is much more moderate and more inclusive than McKinney. The dirty little secret that the Congressional Black Caucus doesn't want us to know is that McKinney would have lost even without the crossover vote in the Dimocrat primary.

Howza 'bout some examples?

Winston Strickland has been cutting the hair of a mostly African-American clientele at his barbershop in Cobb County for 40 years. He no longer has to work the second job he once needed to stay afloat, and he credits the rising black middle class.

It used to be guys making $3 an hour, now it's professionals making $50,000, $60,000 a year," he said of his clients.

$50,000, $60,000 a year? That can't be right.

One is insurance agent Don Johnson. He said that when he started his business in 1986, he felt like a taxi driver.

"I was driving to Cascade [Road], I was driving to Stone Mountain," Johnson said, referring to longtime strongholds of African-American affluence. "I was driving like crazy."

Johnson now has an office in east Cobb County and business comes to him.

East Cobb? That can't be right. East Cobb is almost all white. The highest performing school in all of Georgia is in east Cobb County.

"There was some anxiety when I bought this building 13 years ago," he said, "I wondered, 'Would an African-American do well opening an office in east Cobb?'

"It was the best move I made. People don't care about race if you provide exemplary service," he said.

People don't care about race? But I thought all white people, especially in Georgia, were racists.

Such success stories show that, increasingly, the suburban experience has less to do with color than with class.

Uh oh. This can't be good news for Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, the NAACP, the Congressional Black Caucus and all the other people who exist by playing the race card. Black people are joining mainstream America.

Census figures show increasing dispersal of blacks throughout Atlanta's suburbs, most of them middle-class professionals with plenty in common with their white neighbors and less to divide them, said Charles Lollar, a black Cobb County mortgage broker.

"A white person will see: 'There is a person of a different color who likes his grass cut just like I do, who fertilizes his lawn just like I do, who likes flower beds just like I do, who jogs in the morning just like I do,' " said Lollar.

And just maybe hates paying high taxes just like I do; and just maybe hates seeing excuses made for poorly performing inner city schools just like I do; and just maybe insists that their children do well in school because it is the way to get ahead and not 'acting white' just like I do; and just maybe hates the RWPP's (race warlord poverty pimps) just like I do; and just maybe starts seeing the Dimocrats as a bunch of socialists who want to turn this country into another Cuba just like I do.

Blacks have shown up in the suburbs as Republican candidates in a Cobb County Commission race and a state House race in Alpharetta.

Wow! That's even worse news. But not to worry, the RWPP's are not taking this good news lying down.

But an undercurrent of concern remains among some black leaders, who point to high poverty and a lack of strong black institutions outside education, religion and civil rights organizations, said Charles Jones, chairman of the African-American Studies Department at Georgia State University.

"The problem is that once you move beyond the Madison Avenue notions of this being a black Mecca, once you start looking beneath the surface, we're not sure how this newfound black wealth has translated into the welfare of black people generally," he said.

I have an idea. Why not have successful black people speak at inner city schools and tell them how to escape poverty? TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) used to have a program where we did just that.

Jones said it is critical for newly affluent blacks to remember their cultural history.

Stay on the Dimocrat plantation.

Social and economic problems continue to depress the inner-city black economy and, he said, even some wealthier black communities still must struggle with poor schools and environmental problems, issues not typically associated with affluence.

Translation: Keep voting for Dimocrats who will continue to throw money at failing schools without demanding accountability of teachers.

All in all a very positive article. Despite what all the RWPP's keep tellin' 'em, blacks are finding out they can achieve the American dream on their own. RWPP's like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are becoming more irrelevant.

And that's a good thing.


Well Mr. Obstructionist, l'il Tommy Dasshole is at it again. I read this in this morning's paper.

Majority Leader Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) demanded President Bush apologize for saying the Senate was "not interested in the security of the American people."

It all depends on what your definition of the 'American people' is. Bush is interested in the security of all the American people. The Dimocrats are interested in the security of American federal employees.

"They've criticized me for having criticized the president," he said. "This is politicization, pure and simple." The dispute erupted early Wednesday after Daschle read in The Washington Post a remark Bush had made Monday during a public event before a political fund-raiser in New Jersey.

"The House responded, but the Senate is more interested in special interests in Washington and not interested in the security of the American people," the president said Monday. "I will not accept a Department of Homeland Security that does not allow this president and future presidents to better keep the American people secure."

I'm all for that!

Bush then tempered his remarks by praising both parties for work on the bill. "This isn't a partisan issue," he said, "this is an American issue."

No, this is a partisan issue. There are 170,000 union jobs (170,000 votes for the Dimocratic Party) at stake here. To the Dimocrats, votes are more important than national security.

"That is outrageous," Daschle said, whipping off his glasses and glaring out toward his Senate colleagues, among them Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii), who lost an arm in combat during World War II.

"The president ought to apologize to Senator Inouye and every veteran who has fought in every war who is a Democrat in the United States Senate," Daschle said. "He ought to apologize to the American people. That is wrong."

And you, Mr. Dasshole should apologize to the American people for putting federal union employees ahead of national security.

In response, Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.) said he was "saddened" that Daschle would attack Bush.

"Who is the enemy here?" Lott asked. "The president of the United States or Saddam Hussein?"

What's this? Is Trent Lott growing a spine?

In the Senate, Inouye defended his party's devotion to national federal union employee job security.

"I'm concerned about the security of this country," Inouye said, his eyes welling with tears. "I didn't vote for him, but he is my president, and it grieves me when my president makes statements that would divide this nation."

How come I never heard any of this grieving during the eight years of the divisive Clinton presidency Senator In No Way? And I don't wanna hear about how patriotic you are after you spent eight years supporting a goddamn draft dodger. Yeah, we know, you lost your arm in the war. You lost your morals, integrity, and decency during the Clinton years. Sit down and shut the fuck up!

The rest of the article is more squawking by the usual Dimocrat suspects about the usual Dimocratic bullshit. Hillary Clinton is surprisingly silent. The Dimocrats are just pissed that Bush is pointing out to the American people that the only reason the Senate hasn't passed the the Homeland Security bill is that they want the employees to be union workers with protected jobs.

Damn! I just love the sound of Dimocrats squawking in the morning.

It sounds like victory.

Jimmy Carter

About every 4 to 6 weeks I write sumpin' I call Bitch Slapping. I mention public figures who have pissed me off and give 'em a big ol' bitch slap. Like that idiotic New York City councilman Charles Barron who said at that stupid black reparations thing that he'd like to walk up to the first white person he saw and slap him in the face. When called on it later he said he was only joking and that it was an example of 'black hyperbole'. Well, as an example of white hyperbole, he deserved a big ol' bitch slap ... Whap!

I have decided what I really need to do is create sumpin' new called Just Shut the Fuck Up! The first person in that post would have to be Jimmy Carter. He's at it again. This was in today's AJC.

Former President Jimmy Carter warned Wednesday that the United States would make a "tragic mistake" if it attacks Iraq without the support of its allies.

When I hear 'Jimmy Carter' and 'tragic mistake' in the same sentence, I think of the 1976 election when we made the tragic mistake of electing Jimmy Carter.

He also said a military campaign to topple Saddam Hussein would put U.S. troops at greater risk than they faced in the 1991 Persian Gulf War and recent attacks in Afghanistan. Those efforts relied heavily on aerial bombardment, but Carter said air attacks alone will not dislodge the Iraqi dictator.

"To capture him, we would have to go into the streets of Baghdad," he said. "The costs would be enormous."

This from the genius who tried to supervise the bungled rescue of the hostages in Iran.

Carter made the remarks at a town hall meeting in Atlanta in which he reiterated criticism of laws restricting trade with Cuba and said the Bush administration has endangered civil liberties in its investigation into the Sept. 11 attacks.

Oh. My. God. Here. It. Comes.

He criticized the government's secret detention of hundreds of Middle Eastern and South Asian immigrants since Sept. 11. Most were charged with violations of immigration law that were once considered minor, such as overstaying a visa. None is accused of terrorism.

Carter said the government denied many of them access to a lawyer and failed to timely notify them of charges against them.

"They have been deprived in this country of their basic rights," he said.

Jimmah, if they ain't citizens, I don't give a crap about their rights. If they're here illegally, ship 'em back to where they came from.

He also questioned the decision to detain Taliban and al-Qaida fighters captured in Afghanistan at a U.S. Navy base in Cuba. Human rights groups have criticized the detentions because the fighters lack access to lawyers and have no recourse to challenge their detention in court.

Aw man. You're breaking my heart here. Tell it to the wife of Daniel Pearl. What about his rights you stupid fucking asshole?

Carter said people in U.S. custody deserve to know the charges against them and to have contact with lawyers and have a timely trial.

If they're citizens, yes. If not, then I really don't give a shit. We've treated the bastards in Cuba a damn sight better than any American POW would be treated. We even gave 'em their turbans back. We're treating 'em a damn sight better than they deserve to be treated.

Carter said he despises Saddam and would welcome his departure, but he said a unilateral U.S. attack could

Wait for it ... here it comes ...

destabilize the Middle East,

And what else would it do ... ?

alienate allies

And what else ... ?

and hurt relations with other nations.

Why don't these clueles idiots just make a tape? Then they can just play it over and over again.

"The loss of Iraqi civilian life would certainly be enormous," he said.

OK let's have a vote over whose lives are more important, American lives or Iraqi lives. I vote American lives.

He urged the United Nations to require Iraq to comply with previous resolutions calling for inspections to detect weapons of mass destruction. If that happens and Saddam once again flouts the United Nations, Carter said, the United States "would have massive support of other nations to force Iraq to comply."

OK Saddam this is absolutely, positively your last chance. We mean it this time. If you don't comply we're gonna pass some more resolutions. That'll show you!

It's absolutely crucial that we have unimpeded inspections," he said.

No, it's absolutely crucial that we take Saddam out.

And it's absolutely crucial, Jimmah, that you just Shut the fuck up!!!

Wednesday, September 25

Get Your Goddamn Nose Outa My Tent

One of the nice things about blogging is all the cyber friends I now have. What my readership lacks in quantity, it more than makes up for in quality. Let's see there's Rachel, Kim, and Toren. There are many more, but I correspond on a regular basis with these three folks outside of blogosphere comments on our sites. I also get most of my referrals from these three, so I know they read me on a regular basis. Ann Coulter, in a column about Barbara Olson, wrote that she wrote her columns for Barbara Olson to read. I find that I'm now writing my stuff for Rachel, Kim, and Toren to read. Well, I also write for my sister, but she gets pissed off when I use fuck too much.

Toren wrote an interesting post on September 24 called First, do no harm. Dammit, Toren, how do I link directly to that post? In it he bemoans the fact that the trial lawyers, with their constant litigation, are destroying the health care system in this country. I posted the following comment:

The Dimocrat socialists are lovin' every bit of this. When health care gets too expensive and hard to get, the people will come crying to the gummint to 'do something!' And the gummint will come ridin' to the rescue with socialized medicine. It's coming. Hold on to your wallet and hope you don't get sick.

Usually, I write a comment on a site and promptly forget it. I comment to add another point of view and in some cases (awright, I admit it, in a lot of cases), publicize my site. Toren sent me a note today alerting me that someone had posted a comment about my comment in case I wanted to comment on the comment about my comment. Is that clear? Since no one will send me hate mail and since all the comments on my posts so far are all positive and supportive (Did I mention that my readers, besides being folks who appreciate good writing are all also incredibly intelligent?) I'm forced to go to another site and use those comments. Anyway Ross wrote:

I just want to make sure I understand your viewpoint: it's bad for the "gummint" to come riding in to the rescue in the name of health care access, because that's what the "dimocrat socialists" want, but it's good for the "gummint" to come riding in to the rescue of the insurance companies (#4 on the GOP donor list, according to Open Secrets) and health care professionals (#11 on the GOP list).

Ross totally missed my point. The goal of the Dimocrats is socialized medicine ala Hillarycare. They want the trial lawyers to get larger and larger settlements so as to drive up the cost of malpractice insurance and force doctors to practice defensive medicine by ordering more tests than needed thus driving up doctor and hospital prices and insurance premiums. Then, health insurance will be so expensive, it will be out of reach of more and more people. There will be screams for gummint to 'do sumpin'!' That sumpin'! will be socialized medicine and the greatest health care system in the world will have been destroyed. The irony of all this is once that happens, the trial lawyers won't be able to get large settlements anymore, because they'll be trying to sue the gummint and the socialists won't let that happen.

As for his second point, the health insurance companies are trying to limit amounts on settlements to try and keep malpractice premiums low. Anytime someone gets a huge settlement (of which the lawyer probably gets at least one third) that money has to come from somewhere. It comes from higher insurance rates and that gets fed back to the users (that's you and I) in higher costs.

As a libertarian, I like to see as little gummint intervention as possible. But gummint is notorious for creating problems and then offering solutions. Gummint is also notorious for incrementalism AKA the camel's nose under the tent. For those unfamiliar with what I'm talking about it goes like this. A camel sticks his nose under a tent. The tent owner says, 'Hey, get out!' The camel says 'It's only my nose. What harm is that?' Next, it's the neck. Same conversation until the camel is completely inside the tent.

Want an example? Remember a few years back when the Family Leave Act was passed? It allowed employees to take off, without pay, up to 12 weeks (I think) for things like child birth or medical emergency. Business was against it because they would have to hire a replacement for the worker taking leave. The Dimocrats said it was, after all unpaid leave (Unlike European countries where it is more generous and paid. And do you wonder why they have a higher unemployment rate?) and it would only affect businesses above a certain size. The camel's nose is now under the tent.

Hey, didja hear what they just passed in the People's Republic of Kalifornia? Why, I'll be durned, it's paid family leave. Dammit! That freaking camel got his neck into the tent. Not to worry say the politicians, the employees are paying for this. Huh? When a politician tells me not to worry about sumpin' it scares the shit out of me. And another thing I worry about is most trends start in Kalifornia. When is that freaking earthquake gonna hit?

And, now that brings us to one of the biggest scams of our gummint. I am, of course, talking about Social Security and Medicare. Let's see, the politicians claim Social Security is not a ponzi scheme, but is an insurance program. What we pay into Social Security and Medicare are insurance premiums. Well, I know that's bullshit, but, just for once, let's pretend they're telling the truth.

Remember the tax cuts? The Dimocrats were bemoaning the fact that the only people who got tax cuts were 'the rich'. 'Tax cuts for the rich.' Tax cuts for the rich.' I get so freaking tired of hearing those bastards say that over and over. Ask a Dimocrat what he means by the rich sometime. No answer. To a Dimocrat, 'the rich' is anyone who makes over $75,000 per year.

The Dimocrats made a big fuss about the fact that the poor didn't get a tax cut. Well that's because the poor didn't pay any fucking taxes! How can ya expect to get a tax cut if ya don't pay any taxes in the first place? But, to the Dimocrats this is blatantly unfair. Their solution? Let's give the poor a break by cutting their payroll taxes. Payroll taxes? Yeah, Social Security and Medicare taxes. But ... but ... but ... I thought those were just insurance premiums? No, you silly cripple, they're actually taxes.

And here we have but another example of the camel getting into our tent. The grand scheme of the Dimocrats, with very little opposition from the Republicans, is to eventually shift the entire tax burden on to the top 49% of the population. Already 54% of the income earners in this country pay 100% of the income taxes. Not too much more to go there. Now if they can just figger out a way to get Social Security and Medicare on to the top 49% we will be well on our way to becoming the Peoples Republic of the United States of America.

Hey Kim. What kind of a gun would you use on a camel?

Tuesday, September 24

This One's For You, Jennie

Everyone in the blogosphere has been doing major league fisks of Algore's latest speech. There's really nothing more for me to add. Go look at my blogroll. Rachel, who really hates Algore (probably as much as I hate the Clintons) did an exceptional job. How can I possibly do better than that. So, I'm gonna break one of my rules.

One of my fav'rite things in life is to fisk Molly Ivins. In my one and only referral from Glenn Reynolds, he said sumpin' along the lines of, sure it's Molly Ivins, but this guy is new and he does it well. Got over 1500 referrals in one hour. But, fisking Molly is so easy and takes so little effort that I vowed to do her no more than once a month. Didn't want brain rot to set in. But, this column is just so wacko, I could not help myself. So, Jennie, this fisk is for you.

"What's so interesting is that he's given in at the ideal moment: really early, when it messes us up." -- Kenneth Pollack, an Iraq expert at the Brookings Institute, on Saddam Hussein's agreeing to weapons inspections as quoted in The New York Times.

Dontcha just love it when a column starts out wrong and then just goes down hill from there? Didn't Kenneth Pollack, the New York Times (All the News That Fits Our Views - thanks Paul), and Molly listen to the President's speech? If not, as a public service, I am reprinting a plain language version that I put in a blog last week.

Good day assholes.

Since I need an applause line, here's some money for UNICEF. I know you're gonna waste it, but I figgered if we gave you some money you'd think we really gave a shit about this worthless organization.

Since 1991 you assholes have passed numerous resolutions in regards to Iraq. I'll list 'em for ya but it ain't gonna do much good. It will just make y'all look stupid. Since Saddam Hussein has the same opinion of you dickheads as I do he has told you to go fuck yourselves and given you the finger.

We know he has chemical and biological weapons and is close to developing a nuke.

Here's your big chance to prove you're not just nattering nabobs of nothingness (borrowed part of the phrase from Spiro Agnew) and to actually prove that this organization is relevant.

Since I think you're just gonna talk a lot and say let's negotiate with Saddam, I'm going through the motions of actually pretending y'all might do sumpin'. That way I can tell the American people I tried to get the United Nations to actually do sumpin' but they're just worthless bogger eatin' moh-rons so fuck 'em, we're taking out Iraq anyway.

Thank you and blow me.

Now inspections are only one of the things required of the UN resolutions. Molly, like a good little liberal, is trying to point out that Saddam is ready to cooperate. Like most liberals she is too stupid or deluded (I never really can tell with liberals) to realize that the unconditional inspections already have conditions on them.

Don't you just hate it when the bad guys agree to do what we want them to?

No, Molly, I love it when the bad guys do what I want 'em to do. Unfortunately, that's not what is happening here.

If that's not a good reason to go in and take out Saddam, name one.

I can name several. How much time have ya got?

  • He's already invaded a sovereign nation and is likely to do so again. Fortunately Israel is safe since Bill Clinton said he'd pick up a rifle, fight and die for Israel. God, I hate that phoney sonuvabitch!
  • He hates us and has already attempted an assassination of an ex-president.
  • He has chemical weapons and is not averse to using them. He used them on the Iranians and on his own people.
  • He is developing biologoical weapons. My friend Michael came up with a scenario where Saddam could send people into our cities with biological or chemical weapons and threaten to release them if we attacked him. Would that make you and Algore happy Molly?
  • He could give the chemical or biological weapons to al Qaeda and they could use them on us.
  • He's developing nukes. He could use 'em on us or the Israelis.
  • He could give the nukes to al Qaeda.
  • He's crazy.

How's that for a start?

But our Fearless Leader,

And isn't it refreshing to have a leader for a change and not an overgrown, adolescent pollocrat, who has to take a poll and convene a bunch of focus groups to decide what to do? Jesus H. Christ! If Algore were president, we would still be talking to the Taliban, and Jesse Jackson would be the lead negotiator.

not one to be deterred from war merely by getting what he wants,

Which, of course, hasn't happened yet, but why let facts get in the way of a perfectly good argument?

promptly moved the goalposts and issued a new list of demands Iraq must meet, including paying reparations to Kuwait.

Like I said, let's not let facts cloud our views. That was one of the UN resolutions that Bush cited. The goalposts didn't move an inch. For our European friends, that's approximately 2.5 centimeters.

If you step back and look at this debate, it just gets stranger and stranger.

Not for me. Not for most people who have brains and know how to use them. But, let's hear it from Molly's point of view. Maybe she just might make sense.

For one thing, all the evidence is that the administration has already made up its mind and we're going into Iraq this winter.

Well, yeah. Tell us sumpin' we don't know.

President Bush went to the United Nations and demanded they back him,

Actually, he went to the United Nations and told 'em to enforce their own resolutions. And I really liked the line about the League of Nations and it being a debating society. Who wrote that speech? It was a masterpiece.

he's going to Congress to demand they back him,

He's going to Congress and ask that they give him authority to get Saddam before he provides al Qaeda the means to make 9/11 look like a picnic. And, Molly, all the polls say that's what the American people want. Oh, I forgot. The only time you liberals give a shit about the polls is when the American people don't want to throw a corrupt depraved bastard out of office because it is 'all about sex'. If it's about infanticide partial birth abortion or taking out a bastard trying to develop weapons of mass destruction to give to terrorists who hate us and want to strike devastating blows against us, like 9/11, polls mean nothing.

and there it is.

Yep. There it is.

This is not a debate,

Whadya mean it's not a debate? L'il Tommy Dasshole, Dick Head Gephardt, Snagglepuss 'the conscience of the Senate' Lieberman, and the rest of the Dimocrats can debate it all they want. And then they can see what happens in the November elections. The will of the people Molly. Isn't that what you liberals are always shouting about?

it's Bush in his "You're either with us or against us" mode.

No. It's Bush showing leadership. Which is something that has been sadly lacking in this country, especially during the eight years of the Clinton administration. See, character really does matter.

It is not a discussion of whether invading Iraq is either necessary or wise.

She's right. Anyone with the intelligence of a third grade pissant knows that taking out Iraq is necessary and wise. The only real debate is when.

If you add up all the reasons the administration has advanced for going after Saddam, the only thing left to say -- "Damn right, we need to take out Pervez Musharraf right now!"

Huh!!!! Musharraff? What's going on here? Two weeks ago Cynthia Tucker, Molly Ivins, and Maureen Dowd were all saying that we should attack Saudi Arabia. Now it's Pakistan? I wonder if Molly has told Cynthia and Maureen about the change in plans?

Musharraf has destroyed democracy in his country, he's backing terrorists in India, our democratic ally, his CIA was hand-in-glove with Al Qaeda, his military is riddled with militant Islamists, his madrasas teach hatred of the West, his heroes are Napoleon and Hitler, and he not only has nukes, he's threatened to use them.

But not against us. And he is not as crazy as Saddam.

Whereas the Islamists hate Saddam Hussein,

What???? They love him! He's shelling out $25,000 per suicide bomber. That has to count for sumpin'.

there's no evidence he's connected to Al Qaeda,

Doesn't matter. We know he sponsors terrorism.

he's broke

I wish I were as broke as he was. I wonder how much he has stashed away in Switzerland?

and his army is one-fifth the size it was the last time we beat him in a couple of days.

So what's the big deal out of taking him out? Oughtta be a walk in the park. I really wish I could understand liberal logic. The way their brains are wired must be truly amazing.

True, we know he has biological weapons because we gave them to him (see the depressing report in the current Newsweek: "How We Helped Create Saddam?")

Sorry. I don't read Newsweek. Eleanor Clift writes for it.

and probably chemical weapons, as well. The one thing sure to make him use them is an invasion, and frankly he's likely to lob them at Israel. Do we have a right to make them hostages?

See what I mean about the workings of a liberal brain? Let's examine her reasoning. We don't want to attack Saddam because he is no threat. We don't want to attack Saddam because he is a threat to Israel. But if he were willing to blackmail us with Israel, isn't it possible that he may blackmail us? See my friend Michael's scenario earlier in this post. Is it any wonder that France is made up of liberals since they have refined surrender to a fine art?

The man is certainly a repellent specimen,

One of the few things she's written in this column that makes any sense.

but there are lots of those around.

Bill Clinton, Algore, L'il Tommy Dasshole, Dick Head Gephardt, Hillary Clinton, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Cynthia McKinney, Billy McKinney. The list is endless.

It must be acknowledged that this is not a situation of moral clarity.

Dontcha just love it when liberals talk about moral clarity? It reminds me of a Senate Judicial Committee hearing when Ted Kennedy said he was morally outraged. How the fuck can Ted Kennedy (or any Kennedy for that matter) be morally ouraged about anything? Likewise, how can liberals talk about moral clarity ? They spent the eight years of the Clinton administration saying character didn't matter and doing as much as possibe to make sure there was absolutely no moral clarity whatsoever.

Pretending that there's no moral ambiguity here is a profound disservice to both truth and reason.

What did I tell ya? The masters of moral ambiguity are the members of the Dimocrat Party.

We have done real harm in our past dealings with Saddam Hussein -- among other things, we have now double-crossed the Kurds three times (a sextuple-cross?) Not a pretty record.

And now it's time to set the record straight before Saddam gasses the Kurds again. Just because we fucked up three times, by Molly's count, should we continue to fuck up?

The downside to taking on Hussein is not so much getting him out as what happens next.

Ah yes. Here comes the old 'create instability in the Middle East' Bullshit. Ask the Israelis how much they like how stable the Middle East is.

Diplomacy is often likened to chess -- you have to be able to think several moves ahead. There's no evidence the administration has thought past Step One.

Yeah, but I bet they're way ahead of you and the Dimocrats.

Texas Congressman Ron Paul, a Republican libertarian, has come up with an impressive list of 35 questions that need to be considered.

And Stephen Green has considered them and found them lacking.

As several commentators have noted, one irony of this situation is that the only real discussion of this campaign is among Republicans (with apologies to Rep. Denis Kucinich and Sen. John Kerry, gutless Democrats abound). Reducing the discussion to sound bites of "chicken hawks" and "appeasers" is of no help at all.

So Molly is actually admitting that Dimocrats are gutless? I'm shocked!

A post-Saddam Iraq will be a mess (Kurds, Sunnis and Shiites fighting),

And that is worse than what exists because ... ?

and adding that much more instability to the Middle East is not smart.

As opposed to the stability that exists today.

Bush claims he wants to further democracy in the region, but every indication is that friendly regimes

Like our friends the Saudis

would be replaced by Islamists after a revolution.

Just like every indication was that Afghanistan would be a quagmire. We don't know what will occur and it can't be much worse than what we have now.

The old problem, of course -- the root of the resentment -- is what Israel is doing to the Palestinians.

Oh yeah. Here we go. 'Root cause.' It's all the Jews fault. Didja hear about the latest thing the Jews did to the Palestinans? They took a liver from a Jewish victim of a Palestinian homicide bomber and used it to save the life of a Palestinian child. Oh, those heartless bloodthirsty Jews!

We are held to be just as responsible as they are by the Arab world.

Fuck the Arab world! Those bastards have been trying to drive the Jews into the sea since 1948. They have had many opportunities to have peace. Their definition of peace is the totlal eliminatioon of Israel. This is one thing I cannot understand. The Arabs have never made a secret of this fact. Never. Why is this concept so hard to understand?

The smart way to go after Hussein is to wait at least until an Arab-Israeli settlement is reached, and that is a do-able deal.

No. That is the dumb way and not a do-able deal. Saddam is one of the sponsors of Palestinian terrorism. Take him out and an Arab-Israeli settlement will be easier to achieve.

Instead, we've let Ariel Sharon inflame the situation --

Here Molly has her history wrong. What a surprise. Barak gave Arafat the best deal the Palestinians would ever get. Since it didn't entail the Israelis committing suicide, he walked away from it, emptied the jails, and started the current wave of terror. The terror campaign was what got Sharon elected.

more settlements on the West Bank, now there's a genius move.

This is the Corleone school of negotiating. Every deal ya turn down we give ya less. And anyway, the setrtlements are negotiable. What liberals like Molly cannot get throught their thick skulls is that all the Arabs want is the total elimination of Israel. Den Beste stated it best in one of his posts that the only wya there will be peace is when the Arabs are so soundly defeated that peace will be the only option. Defeating Saddam is part of that plan.

(Naturally, equal credit to the suicide bombers.)

What kind of sick society could so pervert a religion to allow suicide bombers?

Hussein is notoriously tricky when it comes to weapons inspection.

That's why we're not asking for weapons inspections.

By agreeing to the return of inspectors, Hussein has effectively agreed to Security Council resolution 1248, from 1999, which sets a lower threshold for weapons inspections, including delays and complications.

But ... but ... but ... I thought the letter he sent to Kofi Kup Annan were for unconditional inspections. You mean there were gonna be conditions? I'm shocked!

Seems to me the first step should be to get the Security Council to beef up that resolution, even if the French won't accept an "and if you don't ..." clause.

Bush doesn't really give a shit about the Security Council. Why should he? And as for the French. No one gives a shit about them.

Bush is the "if you don't."

That's right. If you don't , we will.

The most unpleasant and unhelpful aspect of this "debate" is the implication that anyone who expresses serious doubts about this venture is unpatriotic

Not necessarily unpatriotic, but certainly incredibly stupid.

-- and it often comes from the same people who spent eight years eaten alive with Clinton hatred.

And for good reason. Clinton, due his lack of response to the terrorist actions committed against this country let the terrorists thinlk that we were a country of pussies, just like our cowardly leader.

Being patriotic doesn't mean agreeing with the government.

That's true. But being patriotic means wanting to defend your government and ensure that it is kept safe from terrorists. I think our president is doing the right thing

The most fundamental American right is to not agree with the government and to raise hell about it.

So let your patriotic heroes of the Dimocratic party start the debate. We're waiting.

I've always liked Sen. Carl Schurz's definition of patriotism at the turn of the 18th century: "My country right or wrong. When right, to keep right; when wrong, to put right."

Neat quote. I kinda like my quote about clueless liberals, "When ya don't know what you're talkin' about, shut the fuck up."

Monday, September 23

To Serve You Better

Our cafeteria here at the TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) site where I work just posted a notice that to serve us better, they would close the cafeteria between 9:30 and 11:30. Excuse me, but how is closing the cafeteria for two hours in the morning gonna provide me with better service? I'm a creature of habit and my second cup of coffee is scheduled at 10:00 AM, and since the cafeteria will not be open then, you bastards are not providing me with better service!

When did this shit start anyway? You can be sure that anytime someone tells you that 'to provide better service', they're gonna do sumpin' that's gonna piss ya off. Dammit, we live in a service economy and the sometimes the service really sucks. When you say you're gonna provide me with better service, howza 'bout actually giving me better service? Otherwise, tell me the truth. Here's the truth. Because we provided shitty service and rotten overpriced food and we're not making a profit, we're gonna lay people off and cut back on our service and make everything even worse.

When I first moved to this site seventeen years ago we had a fantastic cafeteria. The food was good and reasonably priced. Of course, the reason for that was TCIDNN subsidized it as a perk for the employees. The cafeteria was so good that people came from other TCIDNN sites to eat here. We had incredibly long lines during the lunch hour. It was so bad, that those of us who actually worked in this building were put on a lunch schedule to try to even out the flow. But all good things must come to an end.

We got a new administration services manager who fixed the long lines problem. First, she changed vendors and second TCIDNN quit subsidizing the cafeteria. The food sucked and it also cost more. Overnight the problem with the long lines disappeared. I happened to mention to her secretary that she did a real good job solving the problem. Now that the cafeteria sucked, no one came from other buildings to eat here. Unfortunately, the manager overheard me, and the next day my manager had me on the carpet. I tried to explain to him that it was a joke (Which I guess it wasn't.) and the administration services manager needed to get sense of humor. May as well have asked for a brain too.

Since then, we have changed vendors many times 'to provide us with better service' and everytime we have, the 'better service' sucked. We used to eat on real plates and use real silverware. First we got rid of the plates and moved to fine paper plates. Then, since the silverware would cut the plates, we moved to plastic knives, forks, and spoons. And did I mention that the food sucked? Did I mention that the service sucked? Did I mention that the food cost too freaking much? So now, more people bring their lunch or go out to eat, so the cafeteria doesn't get much business. Duh. And now, to give us 'better service', they're gonna piss more people off by closing the cafeteria for two hours in the morning. Thanks a bunch you dumb bastards!

And the coffee. How much does it cost for a freaking cup of coffee? Jesus H. Christ! It's mostly water. And here's a neat thing. If you use your own cup it's ten cents cheaper. So a 12 ounce styrofoam cup is 80 cents but if you bring your own cup, no matter what the size, it's seventy cents. Also, on short weeks there is no cafeteria service at all, so there is no coffee. As a result, personal coffee machines have sprouted up throughout the building. I'm about ready to bring one in myself. 'Better service' my ass.

And as long as I'm on this subject, how about that bullshit phrase, 'You're call is important to us'? Listen up, buttwipes! If my freaking call is so freaking important, howza' bout having someone answer the freaking phone so I don't have to obey a machine and punch a bunch of buttons and wait on hold listening to stupid elevator music??!!! I didn't call to listen to Barry Manilow singing Mandy and constant repetition that my 'call is important please stay on the line.' I got more important things to do with my time. I'd like to find the asshole who invented the automated response system and glue a telephone receiver to his ear and make him listen to goddamn elevator music until he went insane. Aarrggggh!!! It drives me crazy!

So please don't provide me with any better service. By their definition of better service, they'll close up shop and move out of the building.

And answer the freaking phone. Act like my call is important.

Aarrgggh! I give up! I can't take it anymore. Make him stop!

I hate you Mandy!

Friday, September 20

The Way We Were

Yeah. I know it says I posted this on Friday. So where's it been all weekend? I started it on Friday, but won't finish it until Sunday, when I'll actually publish. And before I start, here's a little humor. Remember ladies, this is humor.

Mike wrote asking my opinion on this Den Beste piece. I'm flattered that anyone would ask my opinion on anything Den Beste wrote. Off the top of my head, I can only think of two things that he wrote that I disagreed with:

  • He was in Las Vegas and was admiring the women in their thongs and he could tell who the real blondes were because they had blonde eyebrows. Steve, many women who bleach their hair also bleach their eyebrows so they loook like real blondes. What about ... ? Yep. Sometimes there also.
  • He thinks Nixon's crimes were worse than Clinton's. Hmmmm. Nixon requested one FBI file which he didn't get. Clinton got over 1000. Nixon tried to sic the IRS on his enemies with no luck. Ya wanna list of all the Clinton enemies and conservative non-profits that got audited by the IRS during the eight years Clinton was in office? Did Nixon rent out the White House like a Motel Six? How about all the campaign finance irregularities? How about transferring missile technology to the Chinese? Nixon had the honor and decency to resign rather that put the country through impeachment. Of course, three honorable Republican senators went to the White House and asked him to resign for the good of the country. Wouldn't have worked with Clinton. He had no honor and there weren't three honorable Democrat senators.

But I do agree with him about the 'Arab culture' that we're fighting. We've seen it at work in miniature with the Israeli-Palistinian situation. And Den Beste wrote about this also. The only way to have peace with the Palestinians is to so completely defeat them that they will have no choice but to accept Israel and peace. And that won't happen until the Arab Islamofascists are defeated.

I don't know who's the architect of the current policy, but they're doing everything right so far. The Arabs only respect strength. Appeasement is considered a sign of weakness. I think we finally have some people in the current administration who actually understand this. Bush's speech to the United Nations was a masterpiece. He's shown that organization just how worthless it is. The sight of ol' Kofi Kup crowing over Saddam's letter was hilarious, especially since it's not worth the paper it's printed on. Without restrictions. Bullshit!

Ever since World War II, everytime we've put Dimocrats in charge of foreign policy they have managed to fuck things up royally. We emerged from World War II as the strongest nation on earth. We were the only country with nukes and we proved that we would use them. I'm just wondering what would have happened if Truman would have told Stalin to get his ass out of Eastern Europe at the end of the war. Go back to Russia or Moscow will glow in the dark.

And then we came up with the idea of the United Nations. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Y'know, we can make socialism work. Really. We just need to put the right people in charge and start off with a lot of money. The League of Nations was a rousing success right? Yeah. It worked so well that we'll try it again. This time we'll call it the United Nations. Yeah. That's the ticket. And, in the feeling of good will, we'll even give the Soviet Union three seats in the General Assembly. What? Really?

I had a little argument with friends Michael and Cindy about this. Remember they fight dirty. They gang up on me and since they're married they have more arguing experience than I do. (I always try to arrive early for dinner parties so I can catch 'em in the pre-dinner party fight.) And, they always wait until we're on our second bottle of wine. Two drunks agin' one. Unfair. Anyway, I stated the fact that when the United Nations was created, the Soviet Union was given three seats. I remember reading this in the Weekly Reader when I was in elementary school. Whoa! That had to be in the 50's. Is your memory that good? Let me answer that question by warning ya not to play Trivial Pursuit with either my sister or myself. I've only lost once, and that was a fluke. I don't think my sister has ever lost. And, whatever you do, if we're playing teams, don't put us on the same team. It ain't pretty.

For the list of the members of the United Nations and when they joined go here. Dontcha just love the internet? If you peruse the list, you'll see that Byelorussia, the Russian Federation, and Ukraine (all members of the USSR) were original members of the UN.

So we've seen what a rousing success the United Nations is. Hey howza 'bout that bash the United States party down in South Africa? You Americans are responsible for all the problems in the world. You suck. Give us money.

I will give the Dimocrats credit for the Marshall Plan. But then, we had Korea. Korea was a fine example of how not to fight a war. In warfare you are supposed to fight to win. We fought the Korean War not to lose. MacArthur wanted to win, Truman wouldn't let him, MacArthur mouthed off, and Truman fired him. Now I don't know what would have happened if Truman would have let MacArthur fight his war. It would have been war with China. But, dammit, if you're gonna go to war you go to win. We wound up declaring it a draw and went home.

Since we had mastered the art of fighting wars not to lose, we greatly enhanced that strategy in Viet Nam. Thanks Lyndon. You gave us the Great fucking Society and Viet fucking Nam. Those are two great items for your legacy. Actually, Viet Nam started with Saint Kennedy and that dickhead McNamara. Wait a minute! You're badmouthing John Kennedy? What about the Cubam missile crisis? Listen, if Kennedy had not stabbed the Cubans in the back at the Bay of Pigs, there would have been no Cuban missile crisis. Why Johnson didn't fire that worthless sonuvabitch McNamara is beyond me.

I was in the Navy from 1965 to 1969. From October of 1966 to October of 1969 more than half my time was spent in Viet Nam. You would not believe the bullshit that we had to put up with. Most of us kids (I was twenty when I got there) were all gung ho to 'kill the gooks' (Not very politically correct, but that's what we called 'em) and win the war, but we were not fighting to win. Since we were not allowed to win, we lost.

I've subsequently talked to veterans about the war. Those of us who were involved in 1968 when Johnson made his speech about not running for reelection were ecstatic. All right! Now that Johnson is no longer running maybe he would do the right thing and take the gloves off and let us kick some ass. Alas, no. Same old stupid fucking policies. I really cannot put into words just how frustrated those of us involved in Viet Nam were throughout that period.

And then Nixon came up with a 'secret plan': Lose. Turn our tails and run. That was even more frustrating. All those lives lost for what? Nothing. Dimocrats got us into Korea and Viet Nam. Republicans got us out and in neither case did we have 'peace with honor'. Is it any wonder that the world started thinking of us as a bunch of pussies?

And that brings us to that great maven of foreign affairs, Jimmy Carter. Talk about someone who was (and still is) totally clueless. A bunch of pissant Iranians storm our embassy and take everyone hostage and Jimmah tries to talk 'em to death. Where was the United Nations? Taking over an embassy and holding diplomats hostage is in direct violation of international law. Where were our 'friends'? Where was the rest of the world? Oh, that's right. We were only getting what we deserved. All the problems in the world were (and still are) all our fault. So we had another Dimocrat president showing the world that we were all talk and no action. Remember Reagan? The whole world thought he was an 'out of control cowboy'. So did the Iranians. The hostages were released the day he took the oath of office.

I do have some stones to throw at Reagan. Back in 1982 when Israel chased Arafat and his gang of thugs up to Beirut, we stopped the Israelis and let Arafat and the thugs escape. We were rewarded for this by having our Marine barracks in Beirut blown up. Assholes! Our response? Turn tail and run. We should have at least bombed the Bekaa Valley. Another fine example of American resolve.

At least we won Gulf War I, but, as we have done so often, we did not finish the job. And why did we win? The generals made it clear to the politicians that they wanted a clear objective and asked for an overwhelming force so this would not be another Viet Nam. And the 'mother of all battles' turned out to be the mother of all surrenders.

And that brings us up to Billy boy. I hope all you people who voted for this bastard are proud of yourselves. Let's list some of his accomplishments. There's that Somalia thing. The first WTC bombing. Biting lip 'We're gonna find the people who did this and bring them to justice.' Khobar Towers. Biting lip 'We're gonna find the people who did this and bring them to justice.' Embassy bombings. Biting lip, 'We're gonna find the people who did this and bring them to justice.' USS Cole. Biting lip, 'We're gonna find the people who did this and bring them to justice.' Hey Bill. Ya might wanna put some ice on that you phony bastard.

So now we have us another 'cowboy' as president. We went into the quagmire ('Another Viet Nam', squealed the peace activists. Shut the fuck up and go somewhere and sing Kumbaya. Get Jane Fonda and Jimmy Carter to join you.) of Afghanistan and mysteriously won. Uh Oh! Maybe we Americans aren't the pansies they thought we were. They thought they were still dealing with the Jimmy Carters and Bill Clintons of America.

But that's OK. The spirit of Jimmy Carter still lives on in l'il Tommy Dasshole and Dick 'Head' Gephardt (Good one, Kim!). Can't we just talk about this? Let the United Nations handle it. But, the American people are getting pretty sick of this crap and Dasshole and Dick Head can read polls. And dontcha know it just pisses 'em off that Bush is back up to a 70% approval rating? And Billy boy wishes he were still president. He'd be biting his lip and shedding real tears and he'd be bombing goats and aspirin factories.

I'm glad that we have a real man in the Oval Office and not some girly man like that overgrown adolescent Billy boy.

And to the. rest of the world. We're mad as hell and we aren't gonna take any more crap from pissant Arabs and you nihilist Islamofascists. Got it?

And to Billy boy. Put some ice on that lip.

Thursday, September 19


So my sister didn't particularly like what I wrote last night. The big problem started on Tuesday night. I had a Sommelier Guild of Atlanta wine tasting. (We drank wines from the Paso Robles region of California. The wines were OK and the food was very good.) Fortunately, my team lead was off Tuesday afternoon so I was alone in our office and I was able to write most of Tuesday's post at work. (Shame on me!) It was a fisk, and I can knock them out pretty quickly. I mean, when you deconstruct a column by a clueless liberal it's so natural that it just writes itself. I'm a rotten typist, so what takes the longest is cleaning up the typos.

I write my best fisks when I am royally pissed about sumpin'. Tuesday, I fisked the Teepen column cold. Usually, I read the column first, laugh at the total lack of logic and the total lack of any kind of intellectual reasoning. Then I go back to the top and do my fisk. On this column, I just fisked as I read. And, as most fisks go, it wrote itself. But as I read, I got more pissed off. My problem is when I get pissed off I have a tendency to use some adult language, or as Rachel once put it in describing my blogs 'lotsa cussin'.' I coulda cleaned some of it up, but when I fixed the typos and posted, it was after I got home from the tasting and I was half in the bag, so I said, "Screw it!" (Actually, I said sumpin' else, but I'm planning on being good tonight.)

I overslept yesterday (accidentally, on purpose - it's kinda nice being retired in place) so I got into work late. Aha! My team lead was not there. He was working from home. Love it! So I got to surf. Saw that Randolph had posted some comments. I love his observations! Maybe I should have him feed ideas for me to write about. Wait a minute! He already has. Anyway, I was a little hungover and I was going to the pool after work to do some refresher stuff to get ready for the dive trip to the Bay Islands so I didn't have much time to write about anything. I had just received two emails from an old Navy buddy warning me about viruses and telling me to send these warnings to everyone I know.

Dammit! If ya want to clog up a network, at least have the initiative to actually write a program to do it. I'm always getting crap like that from other people about viruses or things like people with AIDS planting syringes on gas pump handles to infect other people. It's always 'I know someone who knows someone who knew someone ... and send this to everyone you know'. I mean, here at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) the policy is that all virus notifications will come from Virus Warning Central. Ignore any warnings unless they come from Virus Warning Central. Even so, about three months ago, I got an urgent note from one of my coworkers, forwarded from his manager no less (That should have been a warning sign.) that there was an insidious virus that had already infected our network(!) and we needed to delete a file on our PC's. Of course, I ignored it. About four hours later, a note came from the manager, sheepishly saying it was a hoax. Duh! About two hours later came another note from Virus Warning Central, once again, reiterating the policy that we were to ignore all virus warnings, unless they came from Virus Warning Central.

So, I'm hungover, I've just had to write back to my friend that both of his virus warnings were hoaxes (I mean, one of them talked about the melissa virus fer crissakes!), and I read that Al Gore was blaming Jeb Bush for the election problems in Miami-Dade and Broward Counties. Jesus H. Christ! It's Jeb's fault that the voters (majority Dimocrat) and the poll workers (also Dimocrat) in Miami-Dade and Broward are incredibly stupid? "If ah were the guvnor ah'd fix these problems." Al, shut the fuck up!

Also, on Monday night, I got another one of those Nigerian notes wanting help in getting money out of the country. So, I said to myself, let's combine the viruses, Nigerian notes, other internet bullshit scams and the latest fiasco in Florida into that day's post. OK. If Lilecks had done it it would have been hilarious. What can I say? I'm still learning.

Anyway, back to my sister. "You were on a roll up until last night. It wasn't up to your standards." Well, yeah, but do you want me to fisk every single night? But then, she gets on me for my language again. "You can write without all the profanity." But, the things with all the profanity are the things that she likes the best. Maybe if my mother were alive....

So last night was a quickie knockoff. It's not like I'm getting paid to do this. I do this for fun and it is also nice to see referrals on the site meter, get comments and receive emails. I've found that I have a few people who read me on a daily basis and that's good for my ego. The downside, is I don't have enough time to read as many bloggers as I would like to. I, of course, appreciate all the feedback and suggestions I receive. I just wish I could get someone to send me hate mail. I just drool at the thought of hate mail. Here is an example of the kind of fun I could have if I received hate mail.

So what's my excuse tonight for writing crap? I'll tell ya. I watched the first half of the Egyptian thing the other night. I recorded the second half. I love ancient history. I was lucky that I got to go to Greece and Rome before I became disabled. I got to stand on the heights of Mycenae in Greece. I didn't get to Turkey until after I became a crip, but I did get to see Troy. I just couldn't walk around in the ruins like I would have liked to. But, I was able to say that like Agamemnon, I had stood on the heights of Mycenae and at the gates of Troy. My first time in Italy, I did get to walk around in the ruins of Pompeii. Incredible! I got to go to Egypt about five years ago. I wish I had been able to have climbed up and gone inside the Great Pyramid. At least, I did get to stand in front of it. You can not comprehend the size of the pyramids until you stand in front of them. Amazing!

I watched the rest of the program tonight. They cracked open a coffin in a recently discovered tomb. Big hype! It was a skeleton. Great excitement! It's a skeleton. Not even a mummy! Then back to the pyramid where the little robot camera is making its way down the shaft to the door where they drilled a little hole. The poor Egyptian archeologist has raced from the pyramid to the overseer's tomb and back to the pyramid. This is all live and is in the middle of the night in Egypt. The poor bastard is sweating like Saddam Hussein watching Bush's speech to the UN. This is the great climax of the telecast. The robot inches its way up to the hole in the little door, puts the camera through, and (calling Geraldo Rivera!) finds another door! Great excitement! It's another door! BFD! I guess we'll now have another Fox National Geographic Special. Let's bring back Monty Hall and see what's behind door number two. Unscripted archeology is just not suitable for live TV.

So, I've essentially written next to nothing tonight. But, since I don't want this to be a total waste I'll throw in a bonus link. Someone had sent me a link to a video of someone who had really gotten pissed off at his computer. He banged on the keyboard, hit the display a few times, threw his display over the wall of his cubicle and kicked it down the hall. I went back through all my notes and could not find it. But, I did come upon this link that I thought was mildly amusing.

I hate Microsoft!

Wednesday, September 18

Dear GOC

Today I plan on answering some letters from confused readers.

Dear GOC,
I keep getting letters from people in Nigeria asking for assistance in moving money out of their country. Is this for real? Also, they all say that they had heard I was an honorable and trustworthy person. How did they know that?
B. E. Moron, Miami, Florida

Dear Moron,
Yes. This is true. Money grows on trees in Nigeria, but it is hard to get it out of the country. Therefore, Nigerians try to find intelligent, honorable, and trustworthy people. Many of these people can be found in Miami-Dade and Broward Counties. I notice you live in Miami. So, you must be honest, intelligent and trustworthy. You need to be very careful dealing with these people. Many say that they will give you large sums of money just to use your bank account to move their money. They will not give you as much as they say they will. I have had experiences with these people and I can help you out. The next time you receive a request from one of these people, forward the request to me, with your bank account number, and I will handle all the negotiations and transfers. I will make sure you get what's coming to you.

Dear GOC,
I got two virus warnings yesterday from other people on the net. One said to look out for an email with an attachment titled 'I am a virus' . The other said to watch out for an email with an attachment titled 'I am not a virus'. Both said not to open the attachments and delete the email immediately. They both said to send these warnings to everyone in my address book. Do these two viruses exist?
M. N. Idiot, Broward, Florida

Dear Idiot,
You just got hit with two cases of the stupid (also known as the lazy) virus. The stupid virus is created by someone who knows how to use email, but is not able to or is too lazy to write actual computer code. What he does is get computer users to do the work for him. The whole point of the stupid virus is to generate as much useless internet traffic as possible. By telling you to send this note to everyone in your address list he is having you manually perform what a decent virus would do automatically. Here is a hint. Any virus warning that you receive from anyone that tells you to send the warning to everyone you know is normally an instance of the stupid virus.

Dear GOC,
I get many emails that say I can get rich working from home on my computer. Are these offers for real?
I. M. Clueless, Palm Beach Florida

Dear Clueless,
Most of these offers are not for real. Normally they just try to get you to send them money and, in return, they will send you a list of people to contact to try and get work from home jobs. I, on the other hand, can send you the real secrets of how to make money working from home. Simply send a check for $100 to me and I will share my secrets with you.

Dear GOC,
I keep getting internet chain letters that say if I send money to the previous person in the chain and forward the chain letter to five of my friends, I will receive lots of money soon. Does this work?
M. I. Stupid, Miami Beach Florida

Dear Stupid,
None of these things are for real. The only way you will receive lots of money over the internet is by sending your money to me. I will invest in Nigerian money trees and we will both become vey rich.

Dear GOC,
I voted for Al Gore and Pat Buchanan in the 2000 election. How come Bush won?
I. R. Dumb Somewhere in south Florida

Dear Dumb.
Bush won? I didn't know that. Who told you that? Are you sure? Maybe we should do sumpin' about that. Send me some money and I'll look into it.

So there you have it. I exist to serve. And to the rest of you confused people in Miami-Dade and Broward Counties, keep sending questions to me.

Oh yes. Turn off the durned left turn signal!

Tuesday, September 17

A Fisk For Carl

I apologize for doing so many fisks lately, but, when I come across incredibly idiotic writings of clueless, left wing (all right, I realize clueless and left wing are redundant) idiots, I just can't help myself. This is, of course, laziness on my part, since the idiots do all the work. I just point out how stupid and ignorant they are. By the way, does anyone know the difference between stupidity and ignorance? Ignorance can be cured. Stupidity is forever.

Carl sent me an e-mail a little over a week ago asking why I never fisk Tom Teepen. I remember Tom. He used to be the editor of the Atlanta Constipation. I remember reading his columns and hooting with riotous laughter. They quit publishing his columns in Atlanta a while back and I had completely forgotten about him . So when Carl sent me this link and requested a fisk I said OK and would do it when I had a chance. Since I have a Sommelier Guild of Atlanta wine tasting tonight, and don't have much time to blog, I figgered tonight would be a good time for this fisk. I realize the column is dated, but, dammit, this is gonna be fun.

From our Declaration of Independence's recognition that the new nation owed "a decent respect to the opinions of mankind," we have come to pretty much not giving a rat's patootie.

This is actually a good start for a Teepen column. He's right. We don't give a rat's ass about the rest of the world's opinions because they usually suck or they think we are to blame for all the world's problems.

The United States is a sour and reluctant participant in the U.N. World Summit on Bashing the United States Sustainable Development. Where more than 100 heads of state are attending

And consuming valuable resources and gouging themselves on food, while within walking distance of a community of abject poverty where people are starving and are drinking foul water. Hope you hypocrites are proud of yourselves.

-- including most of Europe's --

Frankly Tom, I don't give a flying fuck (I'm sorry. I'm starting already.) who is there. I'm just glad our President has better things to do with his time than spending ten days in Johannesburg listening to a bunch of booger eatin' moh-rons whining about how every problem in the world is all our fault and how we don't do enough for the planet, yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah. Can't you people ever give it a fucking rest and try to solve all the problems you have created and just leave us the fuck alone? Jesus H. Christ! We won World War I and World War II for you. We rebuilt Europe after World War II. And speaking of World War II, some of you European countries still owe us money for that. We protected Europe from the Soviet Union. We've thrown a hell of a lot of money down that corrupt sewer known as Africa and you ungrateful bastards have the unmitigated gall to say we don't do enough? Kiss my ass!

President George W. Bush was having none of it.

Thank you Mr. President!

Secretary of State Colin Powell will show up only for the last two days of the 10-day Johannesburg meeting, more or less just in passing.

And he was heckled by a bunch of losers during his speech. He should have just flipped them the bird, told everyone to fuck off, and left.

Granted, the conference is likely to be more jaw-jaw than action and whatever resolutions it finally passes probably will be long on ideology, short on practicality. These affairs are the Olympics of posturing.

Well I'll be go to hell! This has to be some kind of record. Out of the first three paragraphs of a Tom Teepen column, the first two actually show some lucidity. I fear it will be all downhill from here.

Even so, the conference is engaged with issues that the larger part of the world understands as critical and urgent

Getting the United States to give away money for the rest of the world to waste.

-- the ticklish business of both protecting the environment and accelerating Third World development to narrow the gap, which is widening instead, between the Earth's prosperous millions and poor billions.

Just like the rich get richer because they have made decisions that have helped them get rich such as getting an education, working hard, and not having children they cannot afford, the poor get poorer because they have made decisions to keep themselves poor by not getting an education (and learning to speak English!), not working hard, and having children they cannot afford. The same concept works with nations. Why are we the most successful nation in the history of this planet? Because we believe in freedom. We believe in free markets. And as long as we can keep the Democrats from taking this country down the path to nanny state socialism we'll continue that way. Many third world countries have incredible natural resources, but are still poor because of incompetent government. Socialism and Mugabe's thugocracy in Zimbabwe have pretty much destroyed what was once a rich country. How much longer will it be before South Africa has the same fate?

Most nations see far greater danger in the environmental degradation that threatens the very biosphere that sustains life

Which will continue unabated in the third world under the worthless Kyoto Treaty

and in the social grievances that great disparities in income are piling up

Root cause. It's our fault that we're rich and they're poor.

than they do in Saddam Hussein.

No shit Shakespeare! He's gonna nuke us, not them. Why should they worry?

These are legitimate concerns and deserve thoughtful attention.

And we're thinkin' of 'em.

  • To the third world - Get up off your collective asses, quit whining, and fix your own problems.
  • To Saddam Hussein - Kiss your ass goodbye.

Any questions?

Instead, the United States, once a world environmental leader, comes to the table blowing off environmental worries as just so much claptrap cover for anti-capitalist sneaks.

That's. Because. That's. Exactly. What. It. Is.

(And President Bush, as a grace note to the doings, unveiled a new environmental step typical of his administration: to prevent forest fires, let timber companies cut down the trees! Why did nobody think of that before?)

Because they were all stupid fucking tree huggers? Because they would rather see entire forests burn due to mismanagement? We're not talking clearcutting forests. We're talking thinning out forests and the underbrush that feeds fires. Don't you just really wonder what goes on inside the brain of a liberal?

The conference finds the United States, nowadays a client state of the energy companies, working with Saudi Arabia to fight a resolution urging developed nations to adopt renewable energy wherever possible -- wind, solar and such.

Yep! He's right! He done found us out. Just like the oil companies bought up those secret plans to make cars get 100 miles per gallon, we and the Saudis have prevented those fantastic windmills and solar power cells that work real well from generating any power.

The Bush administration is certainly correct that a substantial part of world poverty is the handiwork of hopeless governments. Simply dumping aid on them is futile -- or worse, enabling. Here's betting the conference chickens out on chiding its many despots and thieves.

Omigawd!!! Another rare lucid moment!!!!! What the fuck is going on here?

But bad regimes often can be bypassed.

Can you give me an example?

Non-governmental charities reach needy populations directly,

Again I ask. Any examples? It ain't workin' in Iraq.

and multinational programs against common problems such as AIDS can dodge empowered kleptocrats.

It ain't workin' in sub-Saharan Africa where there is a massive denial that an AIDS epidemic even exists.

The president has proposed a modest increase in assistance, but even with that, the American effort trails that of most developed economies.

Here's a quarter. Call someone who gives a fuck.

If we shy from being a large part of the solution, we at least could stop being a large part of the problem. One result, for instance, of the increasing privatization of world water resources, as urged by market absolutists, is that a growing number of people have no access to safe drinking water. They can't afford it.

Exactly why are we to blame because people in Africa have no drinking water? I'm at a total loss here.

And farm subsidies and tariffs -- here our holier-than-thou European friends are even worse offenders than we are -- keep Third World food stuffs out of lucrative markets, spiking one of the prime means to broader development.

Well just damn! Another lucid moment. And I totally agree. And while we're on this, why are people starving in Zambia because they refuse to eat the genetically improved corn we've sent them? We're eating it and it hasn't hurt us although maybe, come to think of it maybe that's why people were dumb enough to vote for Bill Clinton twice, elect Hillary to the Senate, and almost elect Algore. I may have to give some more thought to this.

Increasingly unilateral and exceptionalist -- the "What, Me Worry?" kid of international affairs -- the United States is often these days simply absent from the broad concerns of much of the world and sullen when on hand. We are doing ourselves no favor.

Whereas, supporting a bunch of whining parasites who take our money and then tell us how much they hate us is doing ourselves a favor? I think not.

All right. I'm sorry. I turned what I expected to be a humorous lighthearted fisk into yet another malicious rant. But, dammit, why do we have to be the only people who have to play by the fucking rules? I'm getting sick of being the good guys, kind and generous, always willing to lend a helping hand and then have a bunch of worthless dickheads tell us we're not doing enough. They loved us when we had Bill Clinton apologizing for everything we may have done wrong (while, ironically never apologizing for everything he did wrong). Well here's a little truism for you worthless bastards (Don't know where this came from, but I did not make it up myself. Wish I did.): He who bites the hand that feeds him, usually licks the boot that kicks him. Do you want us to fix the world's problems? If so, do what we say and don't give us any shit. If not, here's what I got to say to y'all.

Bite me! Or kiss my ass!

Either way, shut the fuck up and leave me alone!

Monday, September 16

Clueless in Australia

I felt pretty good tonight and watched the first hour of the National Geographic special on Fox about Egypt. I'm recording the rest and will watch it later. Got to get my blog fix in.

My hits were way up today thanks to Toren, Jennie, and Rachel, one of the most dangerous women on the net. And that's a good thing.

Faithful reader Carl asked me to do a fisk of Tom Teepen and I had every intention of doing just that, but I was looking at my referrals and I followed a link back to this piece. "Fisk me! Fisk me!" it cried. OK.

GEORGE W. Bush is, God help us, US President, despite receiving fewer votes than Al Gore.

He does have an excuse here. I think he's an Australian and probably hasn't read our Constitution. Of course, most of the people who voted for Al Gore probably haven't either. So for anyone who hasn't read the Constitution, it's not the popular vote that determines the winner, but the Electoral College. Bush won.

For this he can thank his brother, Jeb, the devious Governor of Florida,

Who recused himself from the entire process. Thanks for the help Jeb.

and his father's conservative friends on the US Supreme Court.

Once again, the only thing the Supreme Court did was make Florida follow its own laws which the Florida Supreme Court, made up entirely of Democrats, tried to circumvent and allow Al Gore to steal the election which as it turned out wouldn't have happened anyway.

Having stolen the election,

Sorry Phil. He won fair and square. All the recounts done after the election by indepedent and partisan sources, following all the criteria the Gore team wanted showed Bush won the election.

one of the most mediocre men to hold the office

I don't know. Looking back on this era, history will show that Bill Clinton was far more mediocre than Bush. He abused the FBI and the IRS. He let the military and the intelligence establishment deteriorate. He and Gloria Steinem gave us the one free grope rule. And he invented the game of Hide the Cigar in the Intern.

was given unprecedented power by, of all people, Osama bin Laden.

This is gonna take a while. That's only the first paragraph.

Now, 12 months later, the nuclear clock – stopped at a minute to midnight when Mikhail Gorbachev accidentally ended the Soviet Union and the Cold War

Let's not mention anything about Ronald Reagan here. The reason the Soviet Union 'accidentally ended' was due to the fact that a communist economy could not match a capitalist economy on military spending. It was no accident.

– is ticking again.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Kinda sounds like Sixty Minutes.

Thanks to policies of unprecedented recklessness

Do you mean declaring war on worldwide terrorism? By trying to prevent any more 9/11's or sumpin' even worse. Look pal, these guys didn't fly planes into buildings in Australia. They attacked us. We don't want it to happen again.

by Bush and co, we've a growing nuclear danger.

Please explain.

Nobel prize-winning physicist Steven Weinberg, who has served as a consultant to US agencies on national defence issues, warns: "The US possesses an enormous nuclear arsenal . . . we've about 6000 operationally deployed nuclear weapons, of which roughly 2000 are on intercontinental ballistic missiles, 3500 on submarine-launch ballistic missiles and a few hundred carried by bomber aircraft. These thermonuclear weapons are considerably more powerful than the fission bombs that devastated Hiroshima and Nagasaki."

We've got nukes and we know how to use 'em.

Russia maintains a nuclear arsenal of comparable size, though with a different mix of delivery vehicles. And though Bush and Vladimir Putin have signed a treaty calling for reducing operationally deployed nuclear weapons on both sides to about 3800 in 2007 and to about 1700 in 2012, the rate of reduction is agonisingly slow.

Yeah. It takes a while to decommission nukes. It also costs money. Russia doesn't have any. Communism completely destroyed the country. Most of the money we gave Russia, as in the way of most third world countries, went into secret bank accounts of the leaders. We're putting up most of the bread to reduce Russia's arsenal. Yeah. It's taking a while.

Moreover, the weapons are not being destroyed or dismantled, simply mothballed. The US Defence Department's plans have been laid out in a classified Nuclear Posture Review (January 9) which calls for the retention of about 7000 intact warheads, a large number of plutonium pits (the fission bomb that triggers a thermonuclear explosion) and other weapon components. "Looking at these figures," writes Weinberg, "one can hardly help asking: What are all these nuclear weapons for?"

Ve Vant to destroy ze vorld! Fiendish laugh. Does this moron have any idea what goes into destroying nuclear weapons? Obviously he doesn't. It's not just takin' 'em down to Bubba's landfill and burying them. There's weapons grade plutonium to consider. That is what takes so long. They're shipping some to South Carolina and the NIMBY's are out in force.

To make matters worse, in a series of staged leaks the Bush administration

Run by "one of the most mediocre men to hold the office"

has proposed developing nuclear weapons for use rather than solely for deterrence. Some are for the provocative Star Wars defence system,

Which is not an offensive system but a system designed to shoot down missiles. Also, Star Wars, though ridiculed by Democrats, was what really brought down the Soviet economy. They couldn't afford it. Their economy collapsed.

others for offensive use.

Low grade nukes. It's not like we're planning to nuke Baghdad, Damascus, Tehran, Medina, or Mecca, but it's nice to know we can.

Weinberg tells us that the Nuclear Posture Review "calls for the development of low yield, earth-penetrating nuclear weapons for attacks on underground facilities such as biological warfare laboratories in countries like Iraq". He warns that the fallout produced by a 1-kiloton explosion at the depth of 25m would kill everyone on the surface within a radius of about 800m. "This estimate is for fallout under conditions of still air; wind could carry the fallout for tens of miles. We could be killing not only the local populations which (as in Afghanistan) we might be trying to enlist on our side but also whatever forces we or our allies have on the ground."

Oh Pu-leeze. I'm trying to be good, but this is getting so silly that I'm gonna start cussing and then if Rachel's mom reads this, Rachel will have to apolgize for me again. Does anyone even think that we would drop a nuke that would spread fallout for miles?

I've been informed by a couple of Washington heavies

This guy has some inside connections. I'm impressed.

that these bombs, originally intended to kill bin Laden in some underground lair, are being prepared for a war that only the US wants to wage.

Actually we didn't want to wage any war. Unfortunately, war was declared on us on 9/11. We didn't ask for it. We didn't want it. We didn't start it. But we will finish it!

A war disapproved of by almost all of the US's traditional allies – from the Canadians

We love ya Canada, but we really don't give a shit about what you think. By the way, nice health care system. Lots of Canucks coming across the border for health care. Gonna be a shame in about twenty years when we have socialized medicine too.

to the Europeans.

Tom Lehrer on his album, That Was the Year That Was, recorded in 1967, I believe, had a beautiful line. "Our current friends, the French, and our traditional friends, the Germans..." Like we really give a shit about what the EUnichs think.

Only Tony Blair and John Howard are enthusiasts.

The Aussies and the Brits. Our real friends.

Indeed, the only thing holding Bush back is that many senior Republicans think the plan to attack Iraq is utterly bonkers.

These were the dudes who put the brakes on during Gulf War I when we should have taken Saddam out. They don't want to admit they made a mistake.

The President might shrug off the views of Henry Kissinger and a chorus of Republican congressmen

Not to mention a bunch of cowardly Democrats that "one of the most mediocre men to hold the office" of president has put in the position of having to come out for or against the war before the election. Not bad for a stupid cowboy, huh?

– but, according to The New York Times,

All the news that fits our views (courtesy of Paul)

even his father is privately outraged.

Look Dad, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but, you fucked up. You shoulda iced the bastard when you had the chance.

Hence the public utterances by Bush Sr's Gulf War lieutenants, Brent Scowcroft and Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf.

Scowcroft doesn't want to admit he was wrong and I don't know what's up with Stormin' Norman. He wanted to finish the job during Gulf War I and they stopped him. He's probably still pissed off.

Tick-tock, tick-tock on the nuclear clock.

Hickory dickory dock. Screw the nuclear clock.

William Schneider, chairman of the US Defence Science Board, has announced a renewed study of "nuclear-armed interceptor missiles" as a part of Star Wars. Weinberg warns that problems with this technology that "have led to the abandonment of nuclear-armed interceptors as components in missile defence since the administration of Ronald Reagan" are not slowing down Bush Jr.

And just remember. Man will never fly. Man will never fly faster than sound. Man will never walk on the moon. Just because someone says sumpin' ain't gonna work doesn't mean it won't.

"How could anyone have confidence in a missile defence system based on nuclear-armed interceptors without tests that involve nuclear explosions in or above the atmosphere?" writes Weinberg. "We have not carried out even underground tests since the previous Bush administration. And, as is very much in our interests, neither has Russia or China."

No one said we were gonna deploy that particular system. It is one of the options on the drawing board.

But all bets will be off in the rush to develop nuclear weapons for war fighting that will violate the US commitment under the 1970 Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, "to de-emphasise the role of nuclear weapons and to work towards their total elimination".

Uh... I think that is why we are planning to take out Saddam. We want to work toward the total elimination of nuclear weapons in Iraq. I though Bush made that clear. Did you miss his speech to the UN? I have a plain language version if you're interested.

"Is it likely that the resumed US nuclear testing will have no effect on decisions about nuclear weapons in countries like Japan or Egypt or Germany?" Weinberg writes in The New York Review . "Is it likely that the Non-Proliferation Treaty will survive when the US is developing and testing nuclear weapons for actual use?"

I missed sumpin' here. When did we resume testing nuclear weapons?

Clearly the lunatics are running the US asylum and will brook no argument. "You're either with us or you're against us," they say, insisting that unilateralism in foreign policy is justified by September 11

Yep. You finally got sumpin' right. Not about the lunatics, but about the "with us or against us stuff". Congratulations. As I always say, "Even a blind squirrel can find an acorn now and then".

– as are the attacks on human rights

Ah yes. We are the biggest violators of human rights on the planet. I can just hear the screams of all the Middle Eastern men we're torturing. The horror! The horror!

and due process within the US.

Got any examples?

It's possible to mount an argument that the US was justified in arming itself to the teeth in the light of Stalin's ambitions. But how can you possibly justify the decision to rekindle a Cold War in a world dominated by one nation?

Look you booger eatin' moh-ron, we're not rekindling a 'Cold War'. We won the last one. This is a hot war. Ask the Taliban. Ask Saddam when the bombs start falling. Would you be satisfied if someone nuked us? Well we wouldn't. We want to prevent that from happening and we don't give a shit about what you and any other clueless leftest bastards think. You can kiss my imperialistic, warmongering ass. Man, this guy is really getting me pissed off.

Why keep the arsenal?

To protect ourselves?

Why add to it?

Uh ... Aren't we reducing our nuclear arsenal? He said so earlier. Did sumpin' change in the middle of his column?

Who is the enemy?

Anyone who is against truth, justice, and the American way. e.g. Lex Luthor, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden (I think he's been scratched), Hillary Clinton, and the Democratic Party. The list is endless.

How many nuclear missiles do you need to seek and destroy bin Laden and Saddam Hussein?

Probably none. I think Binny bit the dust and I don't think we're planning on using nukes against Saddam, but I bet he's shittin' in his pants afraid that we might do it. By the way, how many clueless columnists does it take to change a lightbulb? A lightbulb? What's that?

Recently, Little Johnnie has turned down the Little Sir Echo routine in regard to the war in Iraq – but just by a couple of notches. He should turn it down a lot more. Or else he might find that he'll be sending Australians into harm's way – in the form of nuclear radiation from new weapons.

Give me a break! Does this asshole really think that we would endanger our own soldiers with nuclear fallout? Is this guy an Australian Molly Ivins? Maybe I should start reading Tim Blair more.

The US, contemptuous of the UN,

Can you give me one good reason why the US should not be contemptious of the UN?

indifferent to the criticisms of friends


and neighbours,

I've said it before, we don't care what Canada thinks. We don't expect any troops from them anyway.

reserves the right to invade this country or that to effect "regime change" in defiance of international law.

Since Iraq has flouted international law, and the UN is filled with a bunch of pussies, it's up to us to do it.

And Bush has the audacity to talk of rogue states with weapons of mass destruction.

And you have the audacity to write an incredibly stupid column.

Another year of living dangerously. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I am afraid. I am very afraid.

I found someone wackier than Molly Ivins.

Saturday, September 14

Happy Birthday Wahoo!

I've gotten into the routine of posting Sunday through Thursday. Since I usually don't post until after 10:00 PM, that kinda works out to a Monday through Friday schedule. I've noticed my hits are lighter on the weekend. That must be because lots of my readers must be checking me out at work where they have a faster internet connection. Hey, that's when I do most of my surfing. Anyway, I'm starting this on Saturday because tomorrow afternoon I'm going to my friend Wahoo's 60th birthday party.

Wahoo? Is that his real name?

He has a big ol' belt buckle that says Wahoo on it. And you do know why rednecks wear big ol' belt buckles with their names on 'em dontcha? So they can always remember what their name is. About that time, Wahoo threatens to kick me in the ass, but since I can't feel anything there it would be a waste of time. That's the nice thing about Wahoo. I call him a stupid redneck and he calls me a worthless cripple, we both laugh and that's it. Neither of us run screaming to our mommies crying about how offended we are. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone were that way?

So anyway, where'd he get the name Wahoo?

Well I know someone who went to University of Virginia and they call themselves Wahoos, which are fish. And Wahoo used to drink lots of beer. The Virginian asked him if he got his name because he drinks like a fish.

A Fish Called Wahoo. Didn't they make a movie with that name?

Nah. It was A Fish Called Wanda. Anyway, Wahoo won't tell us, but we think he got it from an old wrestler named Wahoo McDanial. That's Wahoo's last name and he is a little over six feet tall and he weighs in at over 250 pounds. He looks like he could be a professional wrestler.

Before I start, I need to thank all the readers who have put me over 10,000 hits since I installed my site meter in June. Now to people like Glenn Reynolds and Stephen Green who probably get over 10,000 hits in a day this is no big thing. But to a blogger like me, who came into the party late it is a big thing and I want to thank every one of you who come to this site and read my rants, musings and attempts at humor. I also want to thank everyone who has sent me favorable mail. But still no one will send me hate mail. I have fun doing this and I hope y'all continue to enjoy what I write. And requests? Hell yes I take requests. I've got some in the queue that I hope to do soon. My problem lately is that there is just too much to write about right now.

So, didja hear Bush's speech to the UN? If ya didn't here's what he said.

Good day assholes.

Since I need an applause line, here's some money for UNICEF. I know you're gonna waste it, but I figgered if we gave you some money you'd think we really gave a shit about this worthless organization.

Since 1991 you assholes have passed numerous resolutions in regards to Iraq. I'll list 'em for ya but it ain't gonna do much good. It will just make y'all look stupid. Since Saddam Hussein has the same opinion of you dickheads as I do he has told you to go fuck yourselves and given you the finger.

We know he has chemical and biological weapons and is close to developing a nuke.

Here's your big chance to prove you're not just nattering nabobs of nothingness (borrowed part of the phrase from Spiro Agnew) and to actually prove that this organization is relevant.

Since I think you're just gonna talk a lot and say let's negotiate with Saddam, I'm going through the motions of actually pretending y'all might do sumpin'. That way I can tell the American people I tried to get the United Nations to actually do sumpin' but they're just worthless bogger eatin' moh-rons so fuck 'em, we're taking out Iraq anyway.

Thank you and blow me.

Now I think he made a really great speech. I have always thought Bush was smarter than everyone thought he was. He is the first president with an MBA. Gore, the brain, flunked out of divinity school! Also, you do not fly high performance jet fighter planes if you're stupid. He just told the United Nations to fuck off. He's giving the rest of Europe and the Russians a chance to get on board, but if they don't, they can stick it where the sun don't shine. Russia is coming around because Iraq owes them a bunch of money and if we kick out Saddam and they are on the wrong side, they'll be out a bunch of rubles. Now, he's telling Congress he wants 'em to debate on Iraq before the elections and there's a bunch of Democrats running scared. If he ain't thinkin' this stuff up, he's got someone smart tellin' him what to do.

Didja notice Colin Powell is out twisting arms? Lots of the warbloggers were saying earlier this year that Powell and Bush were playing good cop/bad cop. I think they may have been right.

What is up with you people from South Dakota? Jesus H. Christ. You put George McGovern in the Senate. You elected l'il Tommy Daschle who's a worthless obstructionist bastard. And now I read this crap in Saturday morning's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP)--It would be immoral for America to attack Iraq without provocation, a former U.S. senator said here Saturday.

Howza 'bout them developing nukes and constantly saying 'Death to America'? I guess the provocation would be nuking New York City. Would that work?

James Abourezk, who used to represent South Dakota in the senate,

What is wrong with you people? Why did you ever elect this clueless asshole?

was speaking to reporters after he, Democratic

Democrat. Figgers.

West Virginia Rep. Nick Rahall

And what is wrong with you people in West Virginia?

and two other Americans met with Iraqi Health Minister Omed Medhat Mubarak.

The four-person delegation arrived overnight in Iraq, saying it intended to push for peace as well as the return of U.N. weapons inspectors.

Was Yoko Ono one of them? All we are saying is give peace a chance.

"We are on a humanitarian mission ... not only to convince the Iraqi people that the American people are concerned with their suffering, but also to show that the American people, their vast majority, are peace-waging individuals,'' Rahall told reporters after flying in from Syria.

I'm at a total loss of words here. Does this guy really believe this bullshit?

President Bush told the U.N. General Assembly this week that the Iraqi government must grant access to U.N. weapons inspectors or face confrontation. Ratcheting up the pressure Friday, Bush said he was "talking days and weeks'' for a proposed U.N. Security Council resolution that would demand Iraq admit inspectors or face the consequences.

As another blogger wrote earlier this week (I think it was Den Beste), Bush, just like he did to the Taliban, made Saddam an offer he can't accept. He also told the UN to blow him.

After the meeting with the health minister, Abourezk criticized moves toward an attack on Iraq and said the United States was motivated by Israel.

Aha! It's all Israel's fault! Calling Billy McKinney. It's the Jews, J-E-W-S.

"If America launched an attack on somebody without any provocation and declaration of war, then it will lose its moral standards,'' Abourezk said.

We already lost our moral standards. We lost them during the Clinton administration.

"Bush, pushed by Israel, is trying to build a case against Iraq without evidence,'' he said.

Now we know. It's Ariel Sharon that's running the Bush adminstration. I guess Bush is just a dummy after all and Sharon's pulling the strings.

Rahall said the return of inspectors would be a step toward peace, but he declined to say if it would put an end to Bush's desire to oust Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

He really doesn't have a clue does he?

"I cannot speak on behalf of President Bush. I am not here as a secretary of state or a weapons inspector. I am here as individual member of congress who has questions that I would like to get answers to,'' Rahall said.

And the question I would like answered is why did you people in West Virginia elect this guy?

The delegation's trip is sponsored by the Institute for Public Accuracy, a Washington-based group of analysts.

And clueless idiots.

The other delegates are Norman Solomon, the institute's executive director, and James Jennings, the president of Conscience International--an Atlanta-based aid and rights group.

Oh geez. One of them is from Atlanta. I'm sorry. Gotta remember, we (not me) elected Cynthia McKinney five times.

The AJC was more liberal than normal on its letters page today. I thought I was reading the San Francisco Chronicle. All the letters about Iraq were against the war. One humorous letter follows:

If world security demands that a dictator be overthrown, it should be George W. Bush, not Saddam Hussein.

President Bush is a dictator? When did that happen?

America's first (and, I hope, last) unelected "president,"

The neverending election of 2000. I guess in the past few days we've seen just how incredibly fucking stupid the voters are in the Florida Democratic precincts that voted for Gore and Buchanan (BWAHAHAHA!). These booger eatin' moh-rons shouldn't even be allowed to vote! Listen Tony. Not only are you stupid, but you are so incredibly fucking stupid it's a wonder you were able to write this letter. First, according to the United States Constitution, Bush is an elected president. Second, the first and only unelected "president" was Gerald Ford. You can look it up, but you're probably too fucking stupid to do so. You probably didn't believe that men walked on the moon. It was all made up. Go listen to Art Bell.

with the power of the world's most awesome military might behind him, is much more of a threat to global stability,

One world government.

domestic security,


the economy (domestic and global),

Socialism and world socialism.

the environment (again, domestic and global),

Have you hugged a tree today?



than any other so-called leader (elected or otherwise)

Gotta get the 2000 election in there again.

in the history of the world.


This guy doesn't even know the history of the United States (Gerald Ford being the only unelected president of the United States.) and he's saying that our elected president is more of a threat to world stablility than Adolph Hitler? I'm impressed. And since Ariel Sharon is pulling all the strings, that makes him a bigger threat than Adolph Hitler. Who'd a thunk it that a Jew could have that much power?

And before I go, I want to share a link that I got courtesy of this guy.

That's all we need. A rabbit with a harder penis.