Wednesday, June 25

They Won't Quit Pissing Me Off!

Well my sister said I "was real snarky last night." What the heck does that mean? And I did a rant just for Maureen. 'Reen, where are the comments? Anyway, keep feeding me ideas. And a few weeks back, your dad told me I had lost all my passion since I didn't have Cynthia McKinney to bitch about. Well, dammit, it's back.

And a great big thank you to Jennie who said I rant better than Mike at Cold Fury. No freaking way! But thanks, Sweetie. The first beige president. BWAHAHAHA! Al Sharpton actually said sumpin' I agree with. And I freely admit that I stole Dimocrat from Jennie. Kim said I must be eating a lot of red meat. You bet your ass I am. Nice rare steak. Hey Peta! Fuck you, you dickheads! And now the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation has done it again.

Sometimes I think this newspaper exists just to piss me off. Today they ran a screed by Julian Bond about Strom Thurmond. Remember, Julian Bond is one of the people who gave a speech full of vitriol about President Bush at the NAACP convention. And then they wondered why Bush declined to speak there. Duh! Julian, you are an asshole!

But that's not what really pissed me off. Nope. They had an op-ed by some booger eatin' moh-ron named Feisal Abdul Rauf and I'll bet you can guess what he was writing about. It seems like once a week they have to have some op-ed written by a Muslim who has to spout all that Islam is a Religion of PeaceTM bullshit. And that's not really what pissed me off. They don't have it on their web site, so I can't cut and paste it. It's mostly bullshit anyway so I'll transcribe some of the laughable parts.

The title is Islamic, American values not at odds I'm sorry. I really should have given a splatter alert for that.

As Ramadan draws to a close, Islam, a religion I deeply love and which is essential to my identity, is repeatedly bearing the brunt for atrocious acts carried out in its name the world over. It is perceived as a national security threat in the United States. At the same time, America, a land I deeply love and whose values I cherish, arouses antagonism in much of the Muslim world.

Go ahead. Fisk it yourselves. Do you notice that there is no condemnation for Muslim acts of terrorism. None. Nada. Nil. Zero. Zip. Diddly zip point shit.

This is the painful place in which many Muslim Americans find themselves. On the one hand, their American non-Muslim friends are saying, "What are you Muslims doing to us?"

You fuckers ain't gonna explode are you?

On the other hand, their overseas Muslim colleagues are saying, "What is your country, America, doing to us?"

And when are you gonna strap on some C4 and blow yourselves up in the name of Islam?

He really starts going off on the deep end after this.

Islamic theology is unequivocal in its respect for human life, and those who commit acts of violence in the name of Islam do not represent their faith.

After all, Islam is a Religion of PeaceTM. This is the strongest condemnation of violence in the entire op-ed. So why is there violence?

The roots of the violence lie not in religion, but in the politics and econmics of the Muslim world. While Islamic texts, law, and theology mandate tolerance

I guess nobody bothered to tell all the mullahs who preach their sermons of hatred and intolerance throughout the Middle East every Friday. I guess they forgot to tell the rioting Muslims in Nigeria, also. Yeah, besides being a Religion of PeaceTM Islam is a religion of tolerance. Yeah. I really believe that bullshit.

democratic values

OK. Name me one, just one, democratic country in the Arab world. And the center of Islam is in Saudi Arabia which is an oppressive intolerant regime. Oh, and 16 of the 19 hijackers came from Saudi Arabia.

separation of powers

Yeah. Right.

the rule of law under an independent judiciary

This guy is talking about Islamic fantasy land. There is no Islamic country even close to what he is talking about.

and democratic capitalism

The drugs are really taking over now. Is that caterpillar talking to me?

Most Muslims do not live under such governance.

No shit! And whose fault is that?

Here's what happened in Nigeria

the increasingly common call for implementing shariah (classical Islamic law)

Chop off them hands. Stone them women. Beat the shit out of them first.

in Muslim lands such as Nigeria is no less than a desperate call for an uncorrupt state.

Let me get this straight. The riots weren't against the article about Mohammed wantin' to get it on with one of the babes but about the corrupt Nigerian gummint? And the fatwa against the columnist was also because Nigeria has a corrupt gummint? Hey caterpillar, gimme a hit off that hookah. Where the fuck did that cat go?

A state successfully practicing Islamic law

The operative word here is successfully.

embodies the American notion of a "nation under God," passionately dedicated to the well-being of its citizens.

Feisal, if you can name me just one of those countries, I'll buy you a first class ticket to it.

Many Muslims seem unable to prove that respect for human life, gender rights, religious tolerance and pluralism are rooted in Islamic scripture and tradition.

Well there are two reasons for that:

  1. Most Muslims don't believe that.
  2. It ain't in the Quran. Feisal's the only Muslim I've ever heard say it is. Maybe his copy is diferent.

Yet the Quran unequivocally mandates all of the above.

Then how come it ain't practiced in any Muslim countries?

I must say that this is one of the wackiest Don't blame Islam columns I've ever read. They all say the same things. Islam is a Religion of PeaceTM. Islam is a tolerant religion. The taking of human life is against Islamic law. But they never condemn the violence done in Islam's name. Never. The closest this guy came was when he said "those who commit acts of violence in the name of Islam do not represent their faith". Never have I ever heard one of these bozos (I apologize to the clown) condemn the venomous hate speech that spews out of the mosques of the Middle East every Friday about killing Jews and Americans. Never do I ever hear them condemn the homicide bombings in Israel. By the way, suicide is against the Islamic faith. Where's the condemnation of that? If these guys really want to have any credibility with their Religion of PeaceTM bullshit, they need to stand up and distance themselves from the hatred out of the Middle East.

This country was founded on tolerance and religious freedom. Muslims are treated a damn sight better here than Jews and Christians are treated in Mulsim countries. We didn't start this war with Islam. Islamic radicals started it with us. And we're gonna end it. You so called moderate Muslims have a choice. Are you with us or are you with the radicals. Make up your mind and quit spouting bullshit.

Do you know what I want for an end of Ramadan celebration?

Bombs over Baghdad.